Anger Management
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- ********
Found on myspace.com:
"When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you
just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out
on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't
know.It all started one day when I was sitting at my desk
and remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I
found the number and dialed it.A man answered, saying, "Hello."
I politely said, "This is Chris. May I please speak
with Robin Carter?"Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't
believe that anyone could be so rude.I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her.
I had transposed the last two digits of her phone
number. After hanging up with her, I decided to call
the 'wrong' number again.When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled,
"You're an ass!"And hung up.
I wrote his number down with the word 'ass' next to
it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of
weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad
day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an ass!" It
always cheered me up.When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my
therapeutic 'ass' calling would have to stop.So, I called his number and said: "Hi, this is John
Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to
see if you're
interested in the Caller ID program?" He yelled "NO!"
and slammed the phone down.I quickly called him back and said, "That's because
you're an ass!"One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into
a parking spot....Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the
spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and
yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. The idiot
ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car
window, so I wrote down his number.A couple of days later, right after calling the first
ass (I had his number on speed dial), I thought I had
better call the BMW ass, too.I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
"Yes, it is."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow
house, and the car's parked right out in front.""What's your name?"
"My name is Don Burgemeyer," he said.
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home every evening after five."
"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes?"
"Don, you're an ass."
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial,
too. Now, When I had a problem, I had two asses to
call. But after several months of calling them, it
wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came up
with an idea.I called ASS .1.
"Hello."
"You're an ass!" (But I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me," I screamed back.
"Who are you?" he demanded
"My name is Don Burgemeyer."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"I live at 1802 West 34th Street, ASSHOLE! It's a
yellow house, with my black beemer parked in front."He said, "I'm coming over there right now, Don. And
you had better start saying your prayers."I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, ass."
Then I called ASS .2.
"Hello?" he said.
"Hello, ass," I said...again, without hanging up.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are!"
"Yeah, you'll what?" I said.
"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, ass, here's your chance. I'm coming
over right now."Then I hung up and immediately called the police,
saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and that
I was on my way home to kill my gay lover.Then I called Channel 9 News to let them know about
the war going down on West 34th Street. I quickly got
into my car and
headed over to 34th street.There I saw two asses beating the crap out of each
other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter,
and a news crew.NOW, I feel better...... Anger management really
works!!!"
- paddywop0
Simply Class my man
- pascii0
that's a nice story
- k0na_an0k0
awesome
- fake_it_up0
NOOOO freaking way....if thats tru = AHHAHAHAHAHAHA clasic
- paddywop0
Forgive me man, i have to ask... Is that true?
- tny0
warm cuddly blood curdling
- grafholic0
where in myspace did you find this...i really want to see who wrote this!!! that's hilarious!!!
- ********0
not sure-- I didn't write it
- ********0
hah, thats awesome
- ricstultz0
sweeeet.
- SteveJobs0
that story is older than the internet.
welcome to 1992.
- ********0
SteveJobs wrote it back in 1992
- paddywop0
lol
- gruntt0
that story was pretty.
- jevad0
urban legend
- k0na_an0k0
either way it gives me a great idea the next time some bullshit like that happens ya know.
- taragee0
and boys and girls... this is how Rand 1st met Pski
- tymeframe0
i gotta start remembering phone numbers.
funny stuff