ordering pizza 2008
- Started
- Last post
- 29 Responses
- liquid
This is so close to what is probably going to be happening in 2008 that we're not sure how funny this really is:
Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID number?
Customer: Hi, I'd like to place an order.
Operator: I must have your NIDN first, sir.
Customer: My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's
6102049998-45-54610.
Operator: Thank you Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number is 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number is 266-2566. Email address is . Which number are you calling from sir?
Customer: Huh? I'm at home. Where'd you get all this information?
Operator: We're wired into the HSS, sir.
Customer: The HSS, what is that?
Operator: We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time.
Customer: (sighs) Oh well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas.
Operator: I don't think that's a good idea, sir.
Customer: Whaddya mean?
Operator: Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that
you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice.
Customer: What?!?! What do you recommend, then?
Operator: You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it.
Customer: What makes you think I'd like something like that?
Operator: Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion.
Customer: All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.
Operator: That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids. Your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99.
Customer: Lemme give you my credit card number.
Operator: I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit.
Customer: I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here.
Operator: That won't work either, sir. Your checking account is overdrawn also.
Customer: Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?
Operator: We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick'em up while you're out
getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward.
Customer: Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?
Operator: It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank yesterday.
Customer: Well, I'll be a #%#^^&$%^$@#
Operator: I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 4, 2003, conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see
here in September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge Oh yes,
I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society?
Customer: (speechless)
Operator: Will there be anything else, sir?
Customer: Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke.
Operator: I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this.
Thank you for calling Pizza Hut.
- tymeframe0
shhh, they're watching you
- ********0
I just read all of that....
fucker.
- tny0
no, thank *you
- johndiggity0
yeah right. they're lucky if they bring me the right order on time, much less be able to work a computer...
- canuck0
my god man. you typed all that?
- liquid0
its called copy/paste from my email......
I didnt make that up.....but whoever did was right on point.... and its scary as hell
*dialing pizza hut
- k0na_an0k0
you dumbass. there will be no phones in 2008.
- jox0
fucking ace!
and fucking horrible if it'll come to that.
- mitsu0
insurance companies will become government entitties so your life insurance premiums will fluctuate with the type of food you eat.
would you like that super sized?
- liquid0
damn.....no supersize......ok I will take 2 large....
- dopepope0
That was great!
Now do CHINESE FOOD!
- anzelina0
gah gross.
- mrdobolina0
that is what you get for ordering from pizza hut.
- tkmeister0
start cooking at home.
- benfal990
You all need to go rent the movie "1984" today!
its all about that subject. Big brother.
1984 now
- ghandolf0
For those of you who are reading impaired....
- rasko40
I have only been to pizza hut once, I just wasn't happy with the fact that the 'meat' they put on appears to be dogfood.
- mrdobolina0
Dogfood is Goodfood©
- ********0
you been smokin' reefer again there liquid?
- Neuarmy0
damn you ghandolf...
i was searching all over my puter for that... knew i heard it before.