Cheerios
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- cola
A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. "you know what?" says the 6 year old. "I think it's about time we started cussing." The 4 year old nods his head in approval. The 6 year old
continues, "When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with 'hell' and you say something with 'ass'. The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.When their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios." WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can just stay there until I let you out!"
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"
"I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your fat ass it won't be Cheerios."
- cola0
A woman decides to have a facelift for her 47th birthday. She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home she stops at a news-agency to buy a paper. Before leaving she asks the sales clerk,
"I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 32," the clerk replies.
"I'm actually 47," the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the same question. She replies,
"I'd guess about 29."
The woman replies, "Nope, I am 47!"
Now she is feeling really good about herself.
While waiting for the bus home, she asks an old man the same question.
He replies, "I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was, but it requires you to let me put my hands down your pants Then, I can tell exactly how old you are."
They waited in silence on the empty street until curiosity got the best of the woman and she finally says, "What the hell, go ahead".
The old man slips both hands down her pants and begins to feel around.
After several minutes she says, "Okay, how old am I?"
He removes his hands slowly and says, "You are 47."
Stunned, the woman says, "That is amazing. How do you know?"
The old man replies, "I was behind you in McDonald's."
- elms0
cheerios:
http://www.archive.org/movies/de…
- rasko40
haha cola!
