gearing up for gay nite
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- carver
well, the nite is finally upon us..first night down the pub with the Gay, that's the gay i hired for the office. so now we got 1 gay and 1 coloured( i am in charge of 12 people). anyway, we'll have a few in the office first, and then we'll head to the pub! but i've concocted a feindish ploy, i've got somebody to give me call on my siemens mobile phone, or maybe also drop something on my mobile fax(£259!)-anyway, i'll make my excuses, say something really important at work has cropped up, and i'll can leave on high note and not need to spend time in the pub with the fuckin' Gay! as i said before, if my fellows at the golf club see that...down Cats Whiskers with a Fruit! after that i'll be right down the amateur pole dancing(all girls) club after that! i donate the cash prize you see(£150)! and often end up copulating with the winner! daft eh? £56k is just Ok!
- rasko40
why not take the GAY to the strip joint, you know.. maybe you can CURE him or something?
- carver0
good idea rask! he's just a trend sexer, he'll grow out of it, all the bufties do, that why half o' them have got spirit wifes or a bad conscience!
- spaniard0
what salary have you started the gay on carver? and have you thought about dwarfs?
- rasko40
He'll change his mind as soon as he meets a MANWIFE who doesn't eat All Bran™ everyday.
- ********0
You're spot on getting the fuck out of there carver. SPend as little time as possible with the fruit, it's against gods law after all.
- carver0
all bran,you'd be lucky.. christ, i have to listen to the little queen lisping on to janice(my secretary) all day about how he can't eat nuts and raisins a week before a "deep handballing" session. plays havoc with the knuckles apparently. i wouldn't know about that, mind you i used to get a few grazes at swedish longball at school but!
- ********0
The other thing, is your going to have to put up with the little mincer going on about that bird that bonked beckham..thats pure queenie fodder if ever I saw it.
Infact I would be suprsied if he wasn't leaning over your secretary janices' annex now and talking about it in his adenoidal whine.
- carver0
yer right there pal, the gay and janice yap yap fuckin yappin' about beckhams fastidiousness and neatly coiffured public hair! and the speculation, i MAY have to have a word with the pair o' them. secretary's are ten a penny, and well, the gay was just hired so that i can be put forward for an investors in people award, what with Dari the coloured, and fuckin' mimsie over there at the new, bloody expensive water dispenser...with her club foot! bless! i'll get my reward some day!
- ********0
you're a real poeple person carver...that award is as good as yours...and if you don't get it, it's a fookin travesty of the highest order.
- carver0
i'll be keeping the investors award on the bedside table
- rasko40
sorry but you need to employ a refugee to be eligible for that award
- carver0
i got one raskers, anja my 'live in'-ex-beauty queen and gymnast...she's currently 'visiting' me, if you know what i mean.
- rasko40
ah yes thats as I had imagined, tell me, do you have a caravan in the garden where you romance her with your socks on?
- waynepixel0
hahahahaaaaaaaa
I am not to sure if this is racist or pure fucking generous. Anyway its making me Laugh.
- carver0
it's certainly not fuckin' racist this, wayne..he's a fruit, a pink woofter...end of story. and mimsie the other bird, she's got a club foot,spaz.. BUT, obviously if i started ripping the piss out of Dari the coloured that might, in some quarters, be deemed as being a tad racist..but as i said many times before, any body that knows me would testify that i ain't no racist. i got a chinaman reinstated at the local golf club, and my gardener was a darkie(who i unfortunately had to sack a few months back when i caught him stealing aniseed from the shed and pissing on my prize winning hydrangeas! live and let live is what i say, what the Gaygets upto in the palatial surrounding of his pink glittery Xanadu is his business as long as he doesn't try it on with me!
- ********0
Pure 'generous' there carver
- rasko40
so how did it go then carver, did the GAY go back to yours?
- carver0
well, i actually stayed out longer than expected, me and the gay(PLUS THREE OTHERS)-went to bar that promised 2for1, i was coked to the sally gunnells, and i haven't done that(2for1) for years cos it ain't quality you know. anyway we all got quite lubricated and ended i ended up singing 'Up where we belong' with the gay at the karaoke. fucking great, man. i was the bill medley bit, the fuckin gay was jennifer warnes...the place went mad, they were shouting MORE, MORE, BRAVO, the fuckin lot of them...then i left and went to the pole dancing!
- save0
so, did you bum eachother?
- ********0
did the gay make it into work on time?