A warm-hearted christmas tale
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- Danski
Merry christmas to all at NT! I'm leaving for xmas hols soon so I'll catch you all in the new year.
Here's a column I wrote recently to put you in the mood:
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The guy handing out flyers on the corner shoots a dirty look at Santa Claus. Santa catches the glance, and jabs his middle finger into the air with some force before returning his attention to the small girl perched on his knee. He reaches into the dank recesses of his coat and produces a brightly-coloured plastic trinket for her. She grimaces thankfully and skips away to her waiting mother.
The flyer guy looks both ways before striding over to Santa. I can't hear what's being said, but for a moment Santa looks hurt, rallying with a magnificent torrent of verbal abuse and a roundhouse to the head. I look around for some kind of help, but look back in time to catch Santa scream "turds!" as he launches himself full-length into the display tables of the grocery store opposite.
Now I'm watching Santa Claus lurch randomly up the street, fists up and balled in the classic boxer's position, tiny black eyes darting around above the elastic of his beard for some way of escape between the frozen bystanders. I try to move out of his way but I'm too late, and now the creature is on me, breath scorching the hair on my face as he barks obscenities at me through gritted yellow teeth. Before I know it myself I'm punching Santa Claus in the face. Around half a dozen children start crying at this point. This is the last thing I remember before I woke up in hospital to the doctor's explanation.
No-one here likes Santa Claus. Not since he started drinking again.
- JazX0
Give me an O - O
Give me a K - KWhat does it spell: OK
;)
- jevad0
jazus man...thats harsh!!
have a great holiday!
- JazX0
cheers to the world