job openings
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- werkplace
we have several job openings:
Graphic Designer/Programmer: Looking for ex-print designer that knows Flash and can actionscript. We heard that actionscripting is sorta lke programming, but isn't. If a client wants you to integrate this with a CMS on their servers, we just nod our heads. Network knowledge a plus... we dont have IT in the office.
Interior Designer/Plumber:
Looking for interior designer that can create great bedrooms and do the plumbing for the master bath. Back-Hoe operator liscence a plus.Architect/Electrician:
Looking for accomplished architect with large scale high rise experience. Must be able to design building and wire every single outlet. Pay according to speed of installation. We test through our hiring agency.Industrial Designer/Chemist:
Consumer electronic designer needed with a chemical engineering background. Must be able to both design the product and mix the polymers that make it. This is an entry level job, applicants with educational degrees need not apply. Must pass drug screening.I hope you get the point.
- BonSeff0
nice!
- Tyrone0
Hire me1 I'm an expert at ALL that suff
- unknown0
I can do all of those things absolutely no problem and I have a masters in the Higher Art of Lethargy, Court Summons Origami and the General Practices of the Frail and Infirm.
Trouble is I'm off my tits on illegal cacti and wild toad.
- mayo0
i can spackle like a sonofabitch
- werkplace0
tyone: great! we like stuff!
rasko: i am afriad you are overqualified
mayo: i appreciate your enthusiasm, however, we have a 30 minute written test and 2 week on site screening to determine if you have what it takes.
- werkplace0
we need a proofreader'spellchecker as well. must be fluent in every language, including, but not limited to YouthSlang
- unknown0
vous must hire me biatch pour real innit, or perhaps I'll pop a cap in your manko kudasai.
jalapeno mang
- unknown0
I can yodel, got a job for me?
Here's my sample:
http://www.cmhrecords.com/sample…
- mayo0
werkplace, i could have sworn i was the proofreading geek on here. Ask around, i proofread people's shit for fun all the time.
What if i can grout?
- unknown0
I guess proofreading peoples shit is pretty boring unless they've been eating alphabites or spaghetti letters?
- werkplace0
rasko:
the proofreader job is yours! job starts monday! We were impressed with your application, we usually discriminate against somene your age, but, are fascinated with "manko kudasai"!
- unknown0
excellent, I'll bring my waders and flyswat.
see you monday an' ting!
- werkplace0
montreal:
We did fill a Yodeling job last week, We required that you had at least 3 credit hours in Quantum Mechanics. We will keep your sample on file for 3 months.
- werkplace0
rasko:
what is it you young people say?
wor!!!
- unknown0
get yo free cone!
worm, fresh dawg!
- werkplace0
UPDATE:
We filled all the positions with unpaid interns. Thank you for your interest.
- 2cent0
could werkplace be judd nelson?
whatever happened to judd?...anyone remember judd?
- kpl0
judd nelson. sounds like a hater.
- 2cent0
judd had nothing but love for all his loyal fans...he sent me an autographed picture of himself and anthony michael hall!
- unknown0
I guess 118-118 wins as I remember it.. therefore the logic of the world deems that this must be the most expensive!