does anyone have a good joke
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- Chip0
a duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender asks "cash or charge?" Duck replies "put it on my bill..."
sorry
- kpl0
A priest, a nun, and a duck walk into a bar. Ouch!
- sexypixel0
did you hear about the magic tractor?
It turned into a field
- kpl0
A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender asks, "what's with the long face?"
- kpl0
A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender asks, "what is this, a joke?"
- kpl0
What did the duck call his doctor?
A quack.
- ********0
why did the chicken cross the raod?
- ********0
A cow, a horse and a sheep were in bed together.....
the cow said Moooove over
the horse said Naaaaaaay bother
the sheep fell out and said Baaaaaaastard
- smartK0
you actually need a good imagination to find this one funny.
- hUtCh0
A teacher asks her class to use the word "contagious" in a sentence. Roland, the class suck-up, gets up straight away and says, "Last year I got the flu, and my mum said it was very contagious."
"Well done, Roland," says the
teacher. "Can anyone else think of a sentence?" Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails, stands up and says,"My grandma says there's a nasty bug going
around and it's contagious.""Well done, Katie," says the teacher. "Anyone else?" Little Irish Shaun jumps up and says proudly," Our next door
neighbour is painting his house with a two inch brush, and my dad says it will take the contagious."boom boom!
- hUtCh0
Why is it you can sue McDonalds if you get fat,
You can sue Marlboro if you get cancer, but you can't sue Smirnoff or Carling for all the ugly people you shag?
- ********0
how do you turn a duck into a soul singer??
put it in the microwave till it's Bill Withers...
- chubba0
two fonts walk into a bar and try to order a round of drinks,
the barman says"sorry, but we dont serve your type here"
- Danski0
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
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What's ET short for?
Because he has little legs
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What's grey and stands in a field?
A filing cabinet
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What's red and white and screams?
A peeled baby in salt.
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kill me.
- recpos0
what do you call an italian with a rubber toe?
roberto!
What do you do if you have a trumpet growing in your garden?
root-it-oot!
Ahhhhhh....
- ********0
Overheard in the North of England......
JIM: Bob, have you and your wife ever, well you know have you ever tried the other hole??
BOB: You're joking man that's how you get kids!!