Italian mother in law.
- Started
- Last post
- 7 Responses
- Seph
So here it is family NT
I got 2 kids to an Italian girl. one of 3 years old, the other is 1.
I have been living here in Rome a year now, after she got pregnant with our second child she decided we had to move back to her country as she wanted to be nearer her mother. I thought fair enough lets try it.
Little did I realise her mother was a possesive meglomaniac who has hated me from the start because I took her grandchild to another country. She is convinced I will oneday in the future take them back to England and so is doing everything she can to convince my partner I am not worth staying with. Every single little mistake I make she pounces on, every weakness I have she exposes it and makes me feel like shit. She barely has it in her to say hello to my face. Not a single friendly word in one year.
Admittedly I am not earning enough money to fully support my kids and I will concede that I am not happy with my life. My partner practically lives at her mothers house because she claims we can save money on food that way, but the reality is that she depends heavily on her mothers support and her mother makes her feel inadequate to gain control of her.
I spend most of money on renting a large appartment for my family and all they do is come in last thing in the evening to sleep in it.
I am lonely, fed up and cant take her mother's shit stirring anymore.
This is perhaps a bit heavy for NT but I got no close friends in this country, maybe there is someone out there who has been in my shoes. Maybe there some of you with kids that you no longer see very often, whats it like? Or mother in law who want rid of you, what did you do?
I am thinking of going back to london, but it will mean my kids will never learn English properly and I 'll only see them every 3 months at the most.
So I am in whats seems to be a no-win situation.
All you NT'ers out there, 2 words of advise that I beg you to consider.
1. Dont have kids with soneone from a different culture unless you have full completely happy with it
2. Make sure you see eye to eye with potential Mother in law.
3. If you are not in love then get out of the relationship, dont stagnate.
- petzi0
aw seph, this sounds ugly. what does your wife say about all this? i know this 'family' thing from a good friend.
but if your love is frozen you'll have to make a decision.
- Seph0
She's expecting me to go, I dont think she wants me to go but she hasnt got the courage to let go of her mother.
- petzi0
my 2 cents: if you think you can look better for your family in england and live a happier live (for all) she must choose: come with you or not. but tell her that doors are allways open and what you think about her mother. what will happen when she dies? would she be married to a suitabler guy? do what will be right for you. better now than in 10 years.
i don't have family - so it's just a guess. i would go home and talk to my best mate and family.
- MX_OnD0
Seph, sorry to hear of your distress. I've no kids either but I know that italian girls are not too big on the courage when it comes to their mothers...my last girlfriend couldn't cope with the idea of even admitting to her mother that she was seeing a younger guy and consequently broke it off......and she lives in Scotland many miles from her mother....which ever way it goes I wish you the very best of luck.
- Seph0
Thanks for 2 cents, I am saying to her she can come with me but I know she wont. She hates London, I hate her mother.
My best mate is in England with his own major problems right now, and my mother is not someone I can talk to about this.
27 - 32 seems to be the crisis period for most. Its sort of where you choose what to do in life.
Her mother will never die, she is immortal. I have mentioned this fact myself actually but partner says I am being sick.
All she cares about right now is her kids, which is good but she doesnt give a monkeys about her own life or mine. If she had a job things might change, she might turn back into a human. Might...
- unfittoprint0
being a latino, there's only one advice against mothers-in-law. If they're nice, you'll be treated as their own child. If not, you have to stand up to her, it's the only way she'll respect you. And shout a lot!
- unknown0
terrible situation man. i've got italian in me and know how hot headed we can be even when having family rows, i'm not sure just yet about them her or me routine, but just take your missus to one side, take her out for the day without the kids, sit her down in some romantic spot and tell her how much she and the kids mean to you and how you're doing the best thing for them and wnt to do the best thing for them and hope this works. use your charm my boy!
or knock her mother off!