Tom Cruise goes insane on oprah
Out of context: Reply #43
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- SteveJobs0
"MAD TV or SNL MUST SPOOF this interview STAT SCENE- tom dragging her in, arms tied behind her back everytime she tries to ask someone to help her, he interrupts by planting some sloppy kiss on her. then after he thinks he's sufficiantly proved his heterosexuality he escorts her off. he is smiling at the audience, she is looking at the audience in a "please help me" kind of way. then you overhear tom whispering, coaching , in her ear, "u better sell it baby, come on u can smile bigger than that, they better believe you...etc. as he wisks her backstage locking her back up "i'll be back soon, so don't even think about doing anything stupid or you'll be floating down dawson's creek in a plastic versace bag" then he kind of staightens himself back out with some hands to his face(rubbing his face, as to wash it) with a little verbal coaching of his own to himself "ok t-bone the hard parts over baby, come on baby 4th quarter, let's drive this one home baby" then as tom walks back in pulling his hands down from his face revealing that freakish smile dashes back in to rejoin oprah on the couch, but instead of just sitting down he runs around the couch and does a sort of (fonzie from happy days when the fonz plops down on mr. c's seat)' Oprah begins to ask some quest. and tom replies nothing resembling an answer "kate, oh kate, kate kate kate" "show me the love baby" (tom)"i'm a member of the human race" (oprah)"well that remains to be seen" then oprah asks one of the questions that triggered those awkward wrestling sessions w/oprah, but for the sketch version tom is really serious using real wrestling moves taking oprah down and trying to really pin her and while he's doing this he's uttering more of the jibberish he was saying on the actual interview. all the time Oprah is desperately trying to help tom out by trying to change the subject or trying to put the right answers in his mouth, but tom just keeps on derailing and scolding oprah (tom)"don't tell me what i'm trying to say" and so on. Oprah finally gets fed up (oprah)"alright ya scientologolistic munchkin speed freak i tried to help but your dumb cracker ass had to keep on yakkin. (tom)"steven, kate, huh what kate, steven" Oprah pushes up her sleaves and starts to dance around tom before she starts wailing on him. As oprah is kicking his ass Katie escapes running onto the set lookiing and acting like she has just escaped from a concentration camp."
hah!