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Out of context: Reply #971
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got this in my junkmail today
Dear President Bush,
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I learned
a great deal from you and understand why you would propose and support a
constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage. As you said, "in the
eyes of God marriage is based between a man and a woman." I try to share
that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend
the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus
18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination... End of debate. I do need
some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws
and how to follow them.1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female,
provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine
claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify?
Why can't I own Canadians?2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus
21:7 In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her
period of menstrual uncleanness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I
tell? I have tried asking, but most women take it as an offense.4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbors. They
claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2.
clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him
myself, or should I ask the police to do it?6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I
don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination? Oh,
sorry. IS there degrees ..7. Lev.21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a
defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my
vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around
their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How
should they die?9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me
unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different
crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two
different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse
and blasphemes lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of
getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we
just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people
who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable
expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
In Jesus name, Consolidated Dumbasses of America