Dirty Little Secrets
Out of context: Reply #131
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- carver0
i remember a few year ago we were in the park ,we were all pritty high, anyway i was looking after my mate Peanut's dog, Gem and i dunno why, but thought it'd be funny to start chucking sticks about and the daft fucking dog was chasing after them and bringing them back. so i'd run out sticks so i just picked up a fucking rock, not a big one, like, and tossed that up in the air and the fucking dog jumps up and tries to catch the fucker in his mouth. SMASH, both jaws out, teeth everywhere and the little shit must have fainted. so i bundled it up in my jacket and took it back to Peanut's house and laid it under the back wheel of his birds car at the back o' the house. so, then i goes back to the park. Peanut phones me up at work the next day, and the boy's going fucking ballistic man, fuckin' bitch this and fuckin' bitch that, seemingly the daft cow had reversed over the dog an' that, and carver here was off the hook. fucking hilarious, i had to go to the pub with him that night while he bought the drinks, had to listen to the prick blubbing in his beer for four hours about the dog and about smaking his burd an that. then here's the best thing, when we went back to his for some whiskeys after the pub shut, fucking Peanut then falls asleep on the sofa, and his bird, lorna's real upset, 'cos of what she's 'done' to the dog, and that Peanut had gave her a bat in the face, and that,you know, fucking domestics.. so carver here, decides to 'console' her, you know i mean. hahaha, imagine the scene if somebody was peeking in the living room window, Peanut flat out, sitting next to Gemmill(the dog), head and jaw bandaged up to the size of a fucking beachball, and caver here sitting necking away at his Macallan 25year-old malt while his black-eyed burd lorna's blowing me off! daft eh??