AD&D Nerds..
Out of context: Reply #29
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- grayhood0
i use to play in grade school, it always went something like this...
Dungeon Master: ok guys i worked really hard on some super cool dungeons & monsters so lets try to stay focused.
player 1: i am going to kick some wizard ass today!
DM: dude your a level one thief you can't kick any ass yet.
P1: thats b.s. can't i kill some peasants or something
DM: what?!? no, come on i said focus.
P1: fine, i am going to steal some GP
DM: wait, we didn't even start the adventure yet, where is steve?
player 2: here i am, sorry i am late i have to watch my little brother today, is it ok if he plays?
DM: isn't he like 4? he won't even know whats going on, besides i designed this adventure for 2 people not three.
P2: come on man can't you improvise some character for him?
P3 (little brother): * sticks 4 sided dice up nose
DM: ok, fine, i will think of something just get that dice out of his nose.
P2: * smacks little brother in the back of the head launch 4 sided dice across the room
P3: * starts crying
P1: I am stealing your little brothers GP, which dice do I roll for that?
DM: your not stealing anything, the adventure didn't even start yet!
P3 * cries more at thought of GP being stolen
P2: I want to be a jedi
DM: A JEDI?!?! dude that’s star wars its totally different, you are not a jedi, you can be a wizard or druid or something.
P2: that’s cock cheese, a jedi could easily kill a priest
DM: you me druid?
P1: I was to be boba fett.
DM: WHAT!?!?! fuck you guys let just start the adventure the way I designed it.
P1,2,3: fine
DM: ok cool, you come to a clearing in the woods, there is a gazebo.
P1: I attack it.
DM: attack what?
P1: the gazebo.
P3: * shoves 4 sided dice back up nose.
DM: its a fucking gazebo, idiot. you can't attack it.
P1: F that’s I am attacking it, whats it armor class
DM: it doesn't have one its a GAZEBO!
P2: no AC, this should be easy, I am attacking it too
P1: no way fucker, your trying to steal all my Experience Points!
DM: get that dice out of his nose.
P1: I got a 17, did I hit it
DM: no
P1: what do you mean NO, it has no AC, did it doge or something
DM: it can't doge dickface its a G a z e b o.
P2: sweet its my turn, this geezer is going down *rolls a 12
DM: you are a bunch a morons, do you even know what a gazebo is?!!?!?
P1: I am stealing steve's gold while he is attacking the old guy
P2: dude I am on your team! I change my mind I am jedi mind tricking this fucking thief!
DM: fuck you guys I am going home
P3: swallows 4 sided dice.