I'm a muslim, ask me
Out of context: Reply #35
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- shellie5
Beeswax, I found all your responses so far really inspiring. As a black female, I can relate to the random ignorant stuff you must experience based on your culture/religion. It's not something you can just shake off just because other people don't understand it. It is cool to see you handle this subject with such grace.
Here's my question(s) - mostly because we rarely have conversations about people of color with people of color on this forum. Thanks for opening this up.
1. I have no idea what you look like so I can't determine personally if you pass for more white than brown or other in social situations. So this is a two sided question i guess. If you feel like you pass as more of a white person in every day life, do you find people making racist remarks, comments or opinions in your presence because they can't see your religion on your skin?
2. If the color of your skin more obviously denotes your possible religious and political beliefs, do you find people testing your comfort boundaries when discussing cultural subjects based on what they see on the surface? Does that bother you? I personally feel like when people get too comfortable with me, they always try the N-word thing at least once even though the word isn't a part of my daily vernacular.
3. There's a thin line between tolerable conversation and offensive. What's the subject that comes up that you have to check people on the most? And, why do you think this subject baffles people so much? To be fair I'll answer this for myself first. People always want to touch black hair. It's always an issue with black women. We all have countless stories about it. But when you're raised in a society where white hair styles are considered neat, professional, beautiful, etc, it feels pretty gross to feel like you're in a petting zoo because the texture of your hair doesn't fit into that norm. Most black women try really hard to assimilate to the culturally accepted definition of beautiful because they don't want to be considered "less than" for physical attributes we can attempt to hide. Hair can be changed with wigs, weaves or chemicals and obviously skin color is harder to hide (although skin bleaching is also a common thing). It's kind of a life long issue all black women deal with and it seems really superficial to people outside of the issue. There's also more nuanced situations like interracial dating where there's maybe a less offensive ignorance (if there is such a thing) where I would say "like don't touch my hair - at all - when we're making out." As an adult I've asked many black and mixed women this and they all have similar experiences. There's so much baggage with hair that it's just a no touch zone. If I don't make it a big political/racial thing it may take years for me to truly explain what it all means and give it some context to someone I actually care about who isn't also black.
- he's got a photo assuming him self on his profile page.pango
- I actually didn't want to look before asking this question. When I apply to jobs most people think I'm white.shellie
- I prefer for people to define themselves mostly based off my own personal experiences.shellie
- True. name on resume somewhat matters.
but i've been rocking my none white name since after high school and i wouldn't have it other way. :)pango - unless i get to have this name...
http://wac.450f.edge…pango - Hahahah beezowshellie
- Bee - is there an unspoken benefit to "passing" as not muslim outside of your family/community and do you take advantage if you feel like you can.shellie
- there an unspoken benefit of hiding that in certain situations like, hitting a girl at a club, it's not cool to show that you are a practising muslim.Beeswax
- She could be like "eeeww". I don't take advantage coz I'm married for 5 years. But I did.Beeswax
- But also there's an advantage of passing as muslim in certain situations because of a feeling of "community" among muslims.Beeswax
- I made some Muslim clients when I was in SF. Also you can use religion to get more jobs or benefits in Turkey unfairly, like nepotism.Because of current gvrnmntBeeswax
- I never got the skin tone issue.Once I was driving in a dark neighborhood in SF and a cop car stopped me. He had his hand on his holster and spoke Spanish to meBeeswax
- Maybe I look more like a Latino/Mexican and I was driving a beat up old BMW. I liked that actually.Beeswax
- Thanks beeswax very informative!shellie
- "dark" neighborhood? like "dark" humor?bklyndroobeki
- perhaps poorly lit. low populated? lol i know it could be interpreted many ways.pango
- gottcha!bklyndroobeki