Australia!!! things – and like yeah!
Out of context: Reply #249
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- autoflavour0
The entire nation of Australia stopped today to watch a group of men wearing colourful outfits violently attack a bunch of horses for some reason.
So far The Backburner has been unable to ascertain what crime the horses had committed but we can only assume they were incredibly evil horses judging by the thousands who gathered to cheer on their punishment.
The attacks seemed to be pre-meditated as the pyjama-men unveiled special sticks designed to hurt the bad horses with maximum efficiency while avoiding repetitive stress injuries for the attacker as that would be painful and cruel.
Scared of further beatings, the horses desperately tried to run away from the angry bedtime men. This only seemed to enrage them further as their whippings became more stronger and more frequent.
In a powerful display of the bystander effect, not one member of the gathered crowd intervened in the assault until after some time one man gave a cup to the person he believed did the best job hurting his horse.
At this stage The Backburner is unable to confirm or deny whether the horses have learned their lesson or what that lesson might have been. Organisers are just relieved none of the horses had the gall to purposely break their leg (a crime which carries the sentence of immediate execution by firing squad.)
Despite initial criticism, The Backburner has learned this event is “totally worth it” according Jenny from Accounting who won twenty dollars in the office betting pool on which horse would cry first.
The Backburner is Australia's most trusted news source. It is quite obviously satire and shouldn't be taken seriously or as an excuse to sue SBS.