7 months lost, help.
Out of context: Reply #33
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- SteveJobs0
steps to fix your phone and recover valuable data.
1) Have an attorney present to assist you. Preferably one who's recently undergone chemotherapy. He'll likely empathize with you and provide technical and moral support. He'll also represent you when Apple sue's you for attempting to reverse engineer their intellectual property.
2) use a q-tip to clean the audio input.
3) Gently push a small screwdriver into the hole until you feel a sudden release. If you hear a cracking sound, start over at step 1
4) Spray the phone with pesticide. This step is optional, but why not get a little high to help pass the time.
5) Now, soak the phone in isopropyl alcohol for 1 hour. Use an egg time to ensure you don't go over the required time. This is very important. Then proceed to put the phone in a bucket of uncooked Uncle Ben's wild rice for 10 minutes to dry the phone. A bugget of maggots (as shown) will suffice as a replacement if you don't have any rice.
6) Now put the phone in a toilet paper roll. If it turns on, you're done! Otherwise proceed to step 5.
7) Now proceed to take the phone apart. Any tools of your choice can be used.
8) Lay the contents of the phone on the table
9) Now carefully reassemble the phone but do not put the battery back in. It's likely a virus entered your phone and gave the battery cancer. Your attorney will explain.
10) You're now finished and your phone should be working properly again.
11) Take a walk with your phone somewhere where the breeze will flow through your hair. It's fun.
