Looking for advice...
Out of context: Reply #38
- Started
- Last post
- 70 Responses
- fml0
Yeah, I know shit is going to get better. And hope that when I look back on all of this I can be proud of the way I acted and that have have kept my integrity through it all.
Again, I'm not saying that I'm not going to confront her. I'm just thinking that it would best if that happened after she had the ability to hurt me worse with a messy divorce. I'm talking with a lawyer and seeking the advice of a counselor to help sort shit out before I do anything. Legally or anything else.
I've spent a lot of time thinking about shit and I know that I'm not a total saint here. I know that we made each other miserable at times - and that is both of our faults. I know she's moved on (obviously) and maybe I really haven't. But that's my shit to deal with now. Shit, I can almost even empathize with her to some degree (or at least I'm trying). Doesn't mean I agree with it, or would have done it myself. Different people deal with shit different ways. I isolated and shut down. I'm sure that wasn't easy for her. But when we were to the point were 80% of our interactions couldn't happen without one of us walking away angry or hurt - I guess that's to be expected.
I constantly bounce between what I'm going to do.
One moment I just want to sit down with her and tell her how I feel and open up to her in the hopes we can move on without being bitter towards each other. Part of me wants to confront her for the simple fact of showing her how much she hurt me.
The other moment I'm angry and just wish I could forget the last 11 years of my life. And all I want to do is get a divorce, because "that's what she deserves" (that would be the anger talking...)
Seriously want to thank everyone again. Pretty much restored my faith in the QBN community.
- Sounds like you're doing your best. Cheers on the counselor.********
- Sounds like you're doing your best. Cheers on the counselor.