Don't Shit Your Pants
Out of context: Reply #15
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- mikotondria30
ok then: Nearly but not quite.
Anyone who has been a boy scout or a cub is familiar with the end circle where Akela conducts the little ceremony and the scouts all stand in a circle and chant like "Akela, we WILL do our best", and so on.
My first night at cubs in 1979 I'd been busting for a pee all night, but couldn't see a bathroom anywhere and was, to be honest, too scared of the scout leader to ask where it was. Silly I know, but she was really quite formidable and I was new and didn't know the protocol and didn't want to look stupid.
So the final circle thing's happening, and it was all I could possibly think about, stopping myself pissing myself, it was a nightmare. I guess my bladder was listening too, and misinterpreted the ceremony because during a really quiet bit - it might even have a prayer, and with the rest of the troop watching, my bladder let go and volumes of hot golden piss erupted from the bottom of my shorts and splashed down my leg. With an audible splash and clatter mind you, into my shoes and out the top to form an ever-widening dark pool of piss on the dry wooden floor. The ceremony continued with everybody watching this pool spread out, me glowing red with embarrassment. It ended and everyone turned and gathered their things.
No one said anything to me and I slunk out of the door into the night and into my dad's van, covering myself with my coat, not saying anything.
Oh god, it was hideous and I never got over it.
Now my 9 year old daughter and I laugh about the story, and sometimes she tells it to people we meet and honestly it's hilarious.