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Out of context: Reply #53313
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I flew out from Dallas to SF for an anniversary party. I told my parents if TSA was going to try and grab my nuts I probably wouldn't make it out to their anniversary party.
When I got to DFW all the security was shut down except the metal detectors. I breezed right through. No problems, everyone was really nice, security was cool. No touching, no sniffing.
So on the way back, traveling into SFO, heading through south San Fran, my mom kept saying...It sounds like the windows are cracking. My dad and I said, you're nuts, smoke another ciggy cig. Then I hear this loud ass bang like someone took a 1" bolt and threw it against the side of the car as hard as they could. A couple minutes later we had a flat tire. I figure we just got a blowout, so we get the tire changed. I scan over the tire and I can't find any blow out holes, nails or nothing. Ill come back to this.
I missed my flight so I spent hours at SFO waiting for the 6am red eye. The close the terminal between 1230am and 430am so I was stuck out in the lobby, so i shooted the sh#t with the security guard for awhile before trying to get some sleep.
When 430am comes around..I go through security to get in the terminal.
This time, security is full bore---Radiation scanners are busy as hell. Everyone is going through it. Spread eagle getting zapped with rado. I get up to the line and I tell the guy, i'm not going through that thing. He responds, you know they're going to touch your sensitive parts.
I said "you're not going to touch my balls."
He said, THEY will touch your sensitive areas. I said "you will not be touching my sensitive areas or ill report you and file charges."
He then yells out "we got an opt out, we got an opt out."
So a security guy comes up to me and says "you don't want to go through the scanner?"
I said no, they're dangerous. (The same security guy I was chatting with.)
He said "I understand."
Security says "do you have any problems going through a pat down?"
I said "no, but your not touching my balls."He says "your balls why would I touch your balls?" I said that what the guy upfront said, you would touch my sensitive areas and he was pretty animate about it."
He said "that guy up there told you that?" I said "yup, the guy in the sweater vest."
He said "I don't do that man."
So he runs his hands along my arms, waist and calf. he then takes what looks like an oxy zit pad and wipes it on his gloves, and says you are free to go."
So at least this guy was professional and courtesy which was much appreciated.
So lets get back to the tire blow out.
The next day my pops calls me from the tire shop. Apparently the tire was hit with a .22 caliber bullet that went straight through the side while and lodged inside the tire. When they pulled the rim off they found the slug. Apparently the window cracking noises my mom was hearing were bullets or a bullet that had deflected off the back window.
insane in the membrane. Thanks for listening lol