Venting...
Out of context: Reply #29
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- zenmasterfoo0
Ok, here it comes...
Monkeyshine recognizes that he's like his dad in some respects. That can be scary, yes. Your father dismisses you and has kept you from his life. This has been training for you as a future father figure as well. You may actually be reflecting some of those dismissive traits right back at him, and even though the irony should smack him in the face, for you it's not going to hit until peace is made - him dying.
The hardest art is realizing you have to step away from yourself to make it better. Some times the harder road is the best one travelled. I say take it. He may end up disappointing you again, but you'll have made important steps to correcting what's inside you since you were 5.
Good luck. I wish you and your dad well.