The Day After Tomorrow
Out of context: Reply #9
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- tc_fisher0
Can I remind you people that this movie, no matter what the teaser trailer looks like, is written and directed by Roland Emmerich. Remember this guy? Yeah, we all do. Let me take you down memory lane to bring about the recent past of artistic endevours of the artist, known as, Roland.
Universial Soldier -- The one that put him on the map. This is his Mean Streets. This is his BottleRocket. His Citizen Kane. And that little fucker Devlin had his dick in this too.
Stargate -- This was a great idea that a bunch of other people had until said hack(s) went about making their own version. God damnit. There are some really good SF writers that were turning in their graves the night this fucking thing premiered.
Independence Day -- I hear all of you naysayers. But, in 10 years or so, when you wake up out of your I Like Terrible Movies Because I Don't Know Any Better Coma and realize that no matter how pretty the alien ships and the CG were, it still boils down to Randy Fucking Quaid saving the human population of this fine Terra we are all sitting on. Randy Quaid. Randy Quaid? C'mon. That would be like fucking Bill Pullman feigning to be our president... Wait. No. fuck. This movie is awful. And there are so many problems. And you can't make an excuse for lack of character development or plot holes. You fucking can't and if you do, that's fucking terrible and you should stop what you are doing now and go fucking plant a garden or do watercolors in your basement. Just do something you don't have to force on the public to fucking pay to see it. Randy quaid is our savior. Fucking ridiculous. By the by, if you haven't watch War of the Worlds recently, you fucking should. The miniature work is great, the sound effects are classic and it's more of a realistic ending than Roland could ever think of. Or maybe it was Devlin's fault? Oh there is no point in placing blame on one guy. And it helps to have good source material, instead of ripping source material.
Godzilla. I mean, I would be scared to if I saw one, a giant salamander coming at me and two, Matthew Broderick tried to save me. Yes. That would be scarry. I don't care what any of you say. This movie is a complete disaster. All around. Fucking a waste of money. You could have bought your weights' worth in frozen bull semen and you would have spent your money wiser than the producers of said lizard movie.
The patriot. Now, I have to admit, I haven't seen this movie. BUT, I had enough friends that did see it and told me not too. And these friends have an idea as to what makes a good movie, summer blockbuster or not.
And now, this guy brings us a movie, loosely based on Art Bell and Whitley Streiber's book, The Coming Global Superstorm. About a, heh, superstorm that literally wipes out the planet's population and freezes everthing, presupposing that this natural disaster could have erased previous technological civilizations from our recent past. Good premise. I can only imagine what Roland will do to this. And thank god that Dennis Quaid now gets a chance to save the human race from destruction. I bet that Randy and Dennis haven't talked since Randy sacrificed his life for that of you and you and dennis and he has had his nose up in the air ever since. Well thank you fucking much Roland, for making the score even between the fueding Quaid bros.
And thank you whomever for continuing the destruction of today's cinema by constantly filling the pockets of Roland's pants with money. Fucking hollywood. It's all fucking ruined or close to and the fucks like Roland and his ilk can't help but play orson wells, trying to make their next opus.
They are slowly killing it softly with their hate. Over and over. All of 'em. You remember when they used to play short films and cartoons before the film began? Do you remember how the short film was a viable medium because of venues like this? Yeah, remembering is fun. But people like roland and Cokeacola destroy all of that. I don't think any would-be film maker walks away from today's cinema saying, wow, that short film by that nyu kid was so excellent and funny and you remember how he got to stand in front of the camera with that coke sweatshirt on, introducing his critically acclaimed student film, which takes place in a theater and follows the the trials and tribulations of an employee, working the ticket tearing and saving the life of a college-coed from ketchup being squirted on her because her stoopid jock boyfriend didn't have the courage or the WANT to save her? Do they teach anything at NYU these days? What kind of fucking professors practice there? Is this the quality of filmmaker coming out of that presigious school or is this some pretentious trust funded conneticut motherfucker that saw star wars once and didn't want a real job and took his daddy's money to invest in his future career of making films only to take a spot in a short line of applicants that SHOULD be going to the school but can't so a poor kid from topeka, ks with a good portfolio, who just got done filling out all of those fucking grant forms and financial aid packets, only to find a letter from the dean saying his spot has been taken by such and such and good luck next year as dickhead drinks his way through school until he sees a flyer for a contest sponsered by Coke to get his sweet short film out there on the big screen, 16mm blown up to 2K, on 2000 screens across the us and some retarded VC Fuck loves coke and thinks theater employees are funny when trying to save girls at the concession stand and how that storlyine is so fantastic and this NYU grad is the new hot director and lets give him a lot of money so when can have our next fucking Roland Emmerich.
Let's not see movies like this anymore, okay? I know you can find the patience to wait for good work to see in the theatres. And plus, there is dvd. I saw the Treasure of the Sierra Madre, two disc set! on sale at fucking Costco for no less. Go buy that. Go watch it. Enjoy good cinema and stop fucking giving money to likes of roland emmerich.