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Out of context: Reply #51144

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  • ismith0

    One of these days I'll find a girl that I can just be with instead of run and/or hide with... not that that it can't be fun, but it's so emotionally draining to keep it up.

    • I'm happy in a very sad way and vice versa, but I guess things are good. I am "free" I guess.ismith
    • For the record, I'm grinning sheepishly but in no way does it make me confident...ismith
    • I need to do some work too... but I need to do something.ismith
    • When, where, or what I have no idea. There are a lot of things I want to know but don't want to think about.ismith
    • It will be amazing to see what happens in the next phase. These are my final 90 days, I'm just not sure of what.ismith
    • Now I'm just making a fool of myself :)ismith
    • tomorrow will be better, stay positiveali
    • I'm sure it will be, but how's it going to be different the next time it happens? It's fairly consistent and I can't determine where it's leading...ismith
    • what it's leading me towards.ismith
    • ah illusive youthmegE
    • Why the need to run/hide?ali
    • Because I'd feel awful if I was prevented to contribute due to any stigma or label, of which there are so many...ismith
    • same goes for all those involved with me, whether by agreement or simple associationismith
    • It's not something I could discuss here though besides the minor frustrations...ismith
    • And by "here" I mean public internet forum that rarely deletes posts and also ranks very high in Google...ismith
    • idk. I think in the end, I just need to figure out how not to be a burden that doesn't feel so disingenuous...ismith
    • On a lighter note, I had forgotten what a wonderful feeling it is to be in bed with another person...ismith
    • That's going to take more than a couple days to get over, heh.ismith
    • I will seek my catharsis tomorrow, if I do make it to sleep tonight.ismith
    • I know I've got to do the QBNTPE thing, but I think I'm going to drop off the web for a bit. Will be good for me.ismith
    • :(megE
    • It's alright Meg :) "the dude abides" no matter how uncomfortable it can be at timesismith

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