Embarrassing Stories
Out of context: Reply #19
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- kona0
growing up in the country we had the luxury of being able to piss just about anywhere outside. we lived in a very small community of about 10 homes, 5 minutes from the closest town. i was probably 8 years old or so, and one sunny saturday afternoon i'm running in and out of the house like a banshee while my mom's cleaning. she finally had enough and sent me outside for good locking the front door. an hour or so later i gotta go to the bathroom... bad. so i'm pounding on the front door for her to let me in telling her that i have to go to the bathroom... she's all like "I TOLD YOU AN HOUR AGO YOU'RE NOT COMING BACK IN UNTIL I'M DONE CLEANING... GO OUTSIDE!" so of course i did. we had a detached garage so i ran to that and pulled down my pants and proceeded to take a... crap (a huge one), pretty much right in our front yard. it was only when i finished that i realized i had no toilet paper. so here i am, pants now stuck down at my ankles screaming at my mom "MOOOOOOMMMMM! I NEED SOME TOILET PAPER!" at the top of my lungs in a community of 10 homes, all of which had their windows open. my mom's yells back "WHY DO YOU NEED TOILET PAPER FOR GOD'S SAKE?" and i of course yell back "CAUSE I JUST POOPED IN THE FRONT YARD!"
needless to say i'm 35 and still to this day about once a year that story will get brought back up by one of the old neighbors when i go back home. it's the legendary story of the family.