Critiques Please :)
Out of context: Reply #13
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- luckyorphan0
^ I disagree with neverblink on his notes. They're well-intentioned, but I wouldn't connect the L and e in 'Life', IMO. It's a bit of an unnatural connection, because you wouldn't be doing that in script (writing the first and last letter of a word, then filling in the rest), and I assume that's the effect you're trying to achieve. Also, I'd disregard his f comment in the same word. I think you're on the right track.
The 'e' in 'Life' is tricky, yes. Try to round out the bottom of the 'e' if you can, and have it crest over the top of the 'h' in 'Death'. Just a thought, and it might work.
The 'a' in 'Death' is a lil' wonky to me. The detached form where the ascender doesn't meet the bowl makes it look like a 'c i' sometimes.
The "double-ascender" in the 'D' is a little more complicated than it needs to be, in my opinion. Do you really need the small, angular form that descends over the top and creates a '4'? Seems a little forced.
You have a nice chisel in the base bar on the 'L' of 'Life', but I don't see anything like that anywhere else in the image. It'd be nice to either soften it up like the rest of the forms, or introduce that chisel in a few more places throughout.
Can you explain the need to connect the ampersand to the 'h' in 'Death'? Seems a tad forced, but not a mistake.
There are a few more tweaks to make, if you like, but overall, however, this is 98% there. And you really should be congratulated for making something so refined despite your condition. I can't tell you how impressed I am that you did this.
Thanks for the inspiration. And please take my notes with a grain of salt. Just thought I'd help.