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Out of context: Reply #740
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- GeorgesII0
Amazing reddit comments-
You meet a girl (or guy) and you are really liking her. Suddenly you have a conversation about something and she immediately becomes unattractive to you. What were you talking about and what was her stance?
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- celador
Nazi. I met this incredibly attractive girl at a wedding reception when I was about 18. Gorgeous and articulate. We somehow got on the topic of evolution and I mentioned how chimps and humans share around 96% of their genome. She then mentioned how black people share only 98% of their DNA with white people, so they are half way between a tree dwelling ape and a white European. It was the most confused my penis had ever been.
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- thereddustCelador's eyes widen, and he slams his fist down on the button for Emergency Boner Extinguisher. Images of Dick Cheney naked fly across the screen, but they are warring with images of the wedding reception girl in a pleather "Nazi" costume, licking a riding crop.
He puts through an emergency APB to his sperm, but the Sperm Sergeant says that erectile engines are already firing on all cylinders, and he refuses to endanger his men by pulling the plug. Celador says he doesn't care what it takes, this boner MUST STOP NOW, and if the Sergeant won't do it, he'll find some Goatse that will.
The Sperm Sergeant grows pale (well, paler than usual). Gritting his teeth, he hesitates, then turns to his men. They're so young, all of them. They never asked for this. By this time tomorrow, at least half of them will die pointlessly in some hellhole Kleenex that most of them couldn't find on a map.
"Abort mission," he says, a salty tear running from his eye. "God help me."
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