hate mail references
Out of context: Reply #3
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Dear Horrible Boss Pete,
I'm writing you this email because I think my time working at Shitty Company has come to an end. The income I earn from Shitty Company is not satisfactory for me. An employee of my skill level should be appreciated. And by "appreciated," I mean quit being so cheap and start forking over the cash, buddy! I'm not one to complain about my workload, but my job here is too hard for me. And I'm not talking "Viagra" hard, Horrible Boss Pete, I'm talking "slam your face into a concrete wall" hard. When it comes to the work environment at Shitty Company, I would compare it to the quality of air inside a portable toilet on a construction site; any logical human being would conclude that it's time for me to open the door and get some fresh air before I suffocate. You know, to put it bluntly, a bunch of my coworkers are just plain mean people. I don't like them. Not only that, but working at Shitty Company, I feel like a calculator in a 10-year-old's mathematics class: the kid pushes a few buttons, I do all the work, and the kid says he solved the problem. That's a load of crap, and I don't feel like taking it anymore. There's a rumor going around that you've been having serious bouts of constipation this week. Whether it's true or not, the fact is that people here are gossip addicts.
I know this isn't the most polite message you've ever received, but have you noticed how rude the other employees are? Just the other day I held the door open for one of my colleagues and as he passed through, he turned to me and said, "Wow, just like your mom, always open for me to come inside." I think you'll agree that this letter is not as rude as that employee. Of course, I'm too polite to name him. Furthermore, I'm sick and tired of the daily trophy race at work. People here are too competitive. Based on your case, Horrible Boss Pete, it seems that it's official Shitty Company policy to pay more money as you rise through the ranks yet work less than those below you. What's up with that?
You know what the difference is between sexist women like you and a good handgun? At least I can buy a silencer for the handgun! You don't even know what I do at Shitty Company, Horrible Boss Pete. What does that say about you?
I hope Shitty Company burns down,
AmbyP.S. Although I'm leaving this job, maybe you and I can meet up for drinks tonight and see who's the boss under the sheets.