Abortion
Out of context: Reply #36
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Why don’t you say we lighten some things up and talk about abortion? I feel like I’m losing some of you here and want win all of you back with this one. Lets talk about abortion. Lets talk about child killing and see if we cant get some chuckles rippling through the room here. Lets talk about mass murder of unborn children and see if we cant come together into one big healthy gut laugh. Boy, I've never and issue so device; its like a civil war ain’t it? Even amongst my friends, who are all very intelligent. They are totally divided on abortion. It’s unbelievable. some of my friends, for instance, think these pro life people are annoying idiots. Other of my friends think these prolife people are Evil Fucks. How are we going to come to a consensus? You ought to hear the arguments around my house: they’re annoying, they’re idiots, they’re evil, they’re fucks! Brothers, sisters, come together. Cant we once just join hands and think of them as evil annoying idiot fucks? But that’s me....."We're prolife" ohh... you look it. Look like you’re filled with life. All the little kids..."Please don’t adopt me please don’t adopt me." "We're you’re new Christian prolife parents." "Ohh....where’s the tower where’s the gun where’s the tower where’s the gun?" " I was adopted by prolife Christians when I was a kid. Does my penis make me a bad boy? That’s what they told me." Please...give me the Satan worshipping family down the block, the ones that have to good albums. Suddenly I’m adopted by the Flanders, "Hi bill, ain’t it another beautiful god created morning." (gunshot sound!) "We're prolife." What does that make me? You’re so prolife? You’re so prolife do me a fucking favor, don’t block med. clinics. OK? Lock arms, and block cemeteries. Lets see how fuckin committed you are to this premise. "She cant come in." " She was 96, she was hit by a bus." "There’s options" " What, we going to have her stuffed? She’s dead" "We're prolife, get her out of that casket. Get her out." "She’s not going, we're prolife people, there will be no death on this planet." Here’s my actual theory beyond the huge, hilarious jokes I have. If you’re so prolife and so prochild, then adopt one that’s already here that’s very unwanted and very alone and needs someone to take care of it to get it out of a horrible situation. People say, "Why don’t you do that?" and I say, "Cause I hate fuckin kids and couldn’t care less, couldn’t give a fuck." Don’t care at all about abortion. Your choice, case closed, the end, bottom line. And by the way, a 3 month old kid in your belly isn’t a fucking human being; it’s a bunch of congregated little cells. You’re not a human, till you’re in my phone book. There, my hat is now in the political ring