hipster scum

Out of context: Reply #26

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    Dear Mom,
    I h8 how u do not ‘get’ me 1 bit. U need 2 pay attention 2 me so that u don’t end up looking like a dumbass shitface who ‘doesn’t care about her son’ when u try to do something nice 4 me. Recently, u went to a local Best Buy to get me a meaningful gift to go with last Christmas’s Macbook stocking stuffer. U decided 2 get me an iPod touch.

    First of all... I already have an iPhone. Totally don’t need an iPod touch. s00 dumb. U srsly should NOT be alive. U need 2 read more actual publications on the internet instead of reading the local paper from 2 years ago. U think ur smart because u ‘have a career’ but the shit u do is meaningless, and I would srsly slit my own throat and wrists if I had 2 do what u do every day. There’s more to ‘life’ than ur version of life–I wish u could see it my way so that you’d understand my most recent personal brand implementation.

    I SRSLY JUST TOOK A BOTTLE OF SLEEPING PILLS I AM SO PISSED OFF AT LIFE. /////

    N e ways, Just wanted 2 let u know that record players are the new iPods. Just a more ‘organic’ feeling when ur listening to music. Like ur closer to the artist. (I might also give up my iPhone and only use pay phones.)

    I h8 the idea of
    1) purchasing mp3s
    2) being ’so portable’ just like every1 else
    3) co-branding myself with white earbuds
    4) having some ghey-metallic coloured iPod
    5) being ’so connected’ with a wifi connection
    6) the audio quality isn’t authentic
    7) Apple is a BULL SHIT MONOPOLY
    The recent Apple product recall because Steve Jobs’s disease ‘contaminated’ a bunch of product lines

    Record players are the future bc U have to make a decision about ‘where u want to be’ and make sure that your apartment/room/space is extra meaningful. It’s also more difficult to ‘collect vinyls’ than it is to collect mp3s, so it makes you ‘love music’ more that typical people.

    I wish u’d realize how ‘out’ iPods are. They are for high schoolers and overgrown tweens.

    /// h8 the shit out of u, mom
    /// we used to be ‘bros’ right after dad ‘left us’
    /// but now I am finally seeing
    /// that I was the 1 worth leaving.

    Love,
    your altSon

    PS: can u leave me some pizza money 4 the weekend?

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    • that kid is hardcore brain cunt yo
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    • yo!
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    • ha ha can you leave pizza monies please.chossy
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