Relationship Question
Out of context: Reply #51
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- MondoMorphic0
Thank you so much. Not to be melodramatic, but I think I finally have closure on what has been a decision that has plagued me for some time. I went to the Dr. Phil site and randomly clicked on an article...
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Stop Excusing Inexcusable Behavior
You can't sustain a relationship that is based on deception. If lies, infidelity, or other deal-breaking behaviors are threatening your marriage or partnership, Dr. Phil has advice.
Understand that any time you turn away from your partner to fill your needs instead of toward him/her, it's a betrayal. It's not just what you do — it's what you don't do. You can violate someone by withholding affection.
If you are the person who has damaged the relationship, make sure that you hear your partner. He/she needs to know that you have listened and understand the full gravity of your actions and how they have affected him/her. Acknowledge the damage your behavior has caused to your partner's self-esteem, mental state and emotions.
Be as forthcoming as you can be with your partner before entering into a commitment. If there are things your partner has the right to know before marriage so that he/she can make an honest and informed decision, tell him/her.
If you truly want the relationship to work, be real with yourself and your partner. Be completely honest and truthful with your partner about your wants and needs. People who have nothing to hide, hide nothing. You should be an open book to your mate.
You can't change what you don't acknowledge. First, acknowledge that there is something wrong. If what is happening isn't normal, admit it. You need to set some new standards of acceptable behavior and your partner needs to know what those standards are.
--------------------------------...She has violated every single one of these points. I love her and I think this love has made me blind or unable to let go, but I know I need to. She is not good for me.