lifespan of the mac
Out of context: Reply #20
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- dog_opus0
Stage 1: The young Mac, emboldened by its new independence from the safety of the Cupertino breeding grounds, is generally spry, energetic, and ambitious. The fawning attention accorded it at this formative time by the masters of its new environment imbue the Unix-based youngster with a fearless confidence to perform all manner of tasks that may be asked of it.
Stage 2: At this stage, the maturing Mac has come into its own. With the installation of the latest version of Creative Suite and a plethora of other software, its youthful exuberance has been tempered by the need to focus processing power and memory on massive amounts of computing. Barring operator mishandling – chronic negligence in software updates, opening malicious files like a hapless dolt, obdurate refusal to back up important data, and the like – the dauntless Mac is more than able to meet such challenges with aplomb. In fact, it will laugh with overweening assurance at the prospect of being replaced by a newer model.
Stage 3: Having endured years of daily multi-app. operation, several hundred bizarre George Bush Photoshops, countless cookies from pr0n sites, and all manner of fluids – both bodily and otherwise – carelessly splashed over its casing, the aging Mac has undeniably lost its former brilliant luster. As a matter of fact, its most colorful feature at this point is its omnipresent spinning beach ball – a portent of imminent replacement by its latest progeny, if not full-blown fatality due to the lack of cleaning, collisions with the floor, and other hardships it has withstood in its faithful service to you, the self-centered ersatz Sagmeister. It is at this juncture that the lifespan of the Mac has run all but its course, and it is best to let it while away its remaining days in quiet dignity – in your Mom's breakfast nook, serving as her email/Sudoku machine.