The badge of success
Out of context: Reply #10
- Started
- Last post
- 17 Responses
- Khurram0
Well i'm a lot younger than you still in my 20s. This is prolly some mid-life crisis you're having...
...still
For me "enlightenment" comes from simple knowledge. Just know, it's about the journey not the destination and DONE, tada, i'm fixed. But i guess for a certain mindset/thought patterns it ain't that easy to be absorbed in who you are and what you do TODAY and draw total satisfaction.
How long do you spend imagining yourself in the future, playing a movie screen version of your life and thinking "everything will be ok when...."? Since you were 16? 10? 5?
A little off-the wall example, but i been thinkin about this shit in the past year.. Like i used to be sorta into brit-pop in the 90s when in school. And I remember reading how, when that shit blew over how many of the former "stars" had total nervous break-downs. I remember reading a Jarvis Cocker interview saying that how you spend all your life aiming for this ambiguous glory, artistic recognition, welcome to the elite hall of fame, but then when you actually get there... it ain't nothing like what you thought it would be. That every day he felt, even after all the awards, that he had to prove himself, and defend himself, and nothing of what he had or achieved felt permanent and he became even more scared to lose it - getting obsessed with the music press and passing cultural fads and moments - knowing he actually gave a shit about everything he hated.
This is why so many rock stars kill themselves as soon as they "make it". Fuck, look at Britney Spears. I feel sorry for that bitch. She had everything, and she's a broken shell. The emotional chaos of wanting all these external pillars of validation, this desperate cycle to hold onto a sense of self, it's NEVER ENOUGH.
If you feel empty now, i don't know how "design fame" or "accolades" or material wealth is going to change it. It'll NEVER be enough
You'll be sat there gorged on your success, thinking now you can rest on your laurels, and oblivion will still be facing you. Oh shit...
this don't mean to say i don't got ambition. I have GRAND ambitions. I'm doing whateve is necessary to implement them, right now, and work towards my goals. Always higher, onwards, upwards etc. But it's the journey of getting there. It's the skills i'm acquiring. It's the "aha" moments i encounter daily. It's the lives I touch and the struggles and specific circumstances i gotta cope with - that's what get ME off.
...and that's how we do it yo!
- yeah mid to whole life crises I guess. It'll be OK sometime soon. Nice post. thanksjohnnnnyh