Politics
Out of context: Reply #3294
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- tommyo0
hahaha:
Here's an explanation everyone can understand.
The updated guide to fiscal philosophies.
by Pat KerbySOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You are forced by Obama to give one to your neighbor.COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and rations your milk.FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both because they might damage a turtle habitat. They take one away to study it's environmental impact, pay seven people to milk the other (six lean on overpriced shovels while one does the work), and then throw the milk away...TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, you hire people to milk the cows, creating jobs. The economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You outsource the labor of milking them to Korea, and McCain encourages you to hire Mexican truckers to transport the milk.ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. For a time, the public buys your bull, but when it comes crashing down, congress gets you and your descendants to pay for it all..A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the sh#t out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.(see further results below)..AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.A DEMOCRACY
You have two cows, you vote for government benefits to help you take care of the cows. Your taxes continue to go up to pay for the benefits (mainly because all of the work is done by the bureaucrats. See example above). Your country goes broke and you lose all your cows.A REPUBLIC
You have two cows. You recognize that the above mentioned capitalism is the best policy, and you protect the rights of the individual against the threat of all these other philosophies.- The Iraqi Corporation is the best...and Indian Corp takes second place.tommyo