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Out of context: Reply #26969
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- killthefish0
found that I had turned my head lengthwise. I was beyond caring about a patch of insignificant
turning then to catch the tooth of the shark between my dull tweezers, I felt compelled to cough. Or sneeze. I was compelled to expell something from my chest. Or my face. I was suffering a compulsion, just then, when a steady hand is of the essence. I was without herbal shampoo. My chest cavity was covered in my long, flowing locks of golden hair. The shark looked tired. Or pissed. The shark looked like a shark. I was reaching for its tooth.
i couldn't stop myself. I remember growing up I could fool myself, say, "Bless you," or, "I'm going to sneeze," so that someone else would say, "Bless you," or, "Bells fuck," or "your hand is on my ass," and I'd stop. Unceremoniously in the middle of trying to do the thing that I suddenly had the urge to do.
urge you to call now, don't wait, these things won't stay on our shelves. The shelves themselves are going. We're selling everything. We're selling the rug out of from under us if anybody wants it. Be sure to indicate whether or not you want the rug. It's cheap. Make us an offer. Only a few cigarette burns.
remember you're supposed to punch the shark in the nose. Except you're not, that's an old wive's tale. Time is critical when a shark's got you bitten, in its teeth. The shark has a lot of teeth. There will be no time to stop and think, remember this when it happens to you. "Do not stop and think," is what you have to consider when the shark's mouth is up to your crotch area. Sharks don't want to eat people. They are afraid. Punch them in the face, but don't ever actually try punching a shark in the face as that's ridiculous. Go for the eyes. Sharks have a bad reaction, for example, to people trying to put in contact lenses. There is no time to consider your options. The instinct is key. Your gut reaction. What your gut will tell you is, "Oh motherfuck I'm going to die." Do not listen to your gut. Remember, you will not have time to consider your options. Whatever you do, do not punch it in the nose. Think about the gills, the shark's breathing apparatus
"Apparatus," cried the woman in the sand, throwing black, rubber pieces of something at the life guard.
cannot be distracted just now. I had the tweezers sideways. It's the tiny details. I knew it. I had prepared myself for so long that I'd overthought. I had the tweezers by the long end. The shark's tooth was just centimeters away from my steady hand holding the tweezers sideways, longways, and I had to cough. Or shit. Something was urging me to let it out of my body. I could sense the muscles wanting to tense, but I knew that tensing those muscles would be suicide. It was too late to back out now. I reached with my other hand to turn them longways, only to remember then that the other hand was holding the instructions. I was on step 17. These things were written in some kind of Chinese translated into French translated into English and I was pretty sure I had skipped step 16 which said, "Will pleasantly engage overhead view with children lettuce," accompanied by a line drawing of what appeared to be a car battery. Or a cereal box. Or something.
"whenever I think of you, I step on my own head," was the refrain, and the lifeguard was standing there, mouth agape, arms fluttering at his sides. The woman at his feet was staring him down. Somebody's Frisbee hit her in the neck, just then. Thunderous applause. Fluttering lifeguard arms and hands. Entirely too much Tabasco. Shit that's hot.
watching as the shark continued past, its long, gray side rippling with the lateral flip of its powerful tail fin, its gills still intact, its big tooth nimbly gripping four of my fingers with its toothen hands, its exhaust pipe spewing gallons of toxic chemical into the brine.
"18. Protrude carefully away from distance direction of impeding consequence (step 5)" alongside a stick figure drawing of a man with a giant toothbrush. Maybe it was a rake.
- I haven't read anything this long in a few years. I still haven't I'm afraid.Jnr_Madison
- that's okay it's just a millenium codekillthefish