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Out of context: Reply #15207
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High, everyone, this is my first blog post! Usually I treat the entire PVN as my personal blog, but I decided this one couldn't really fit in any thread...
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So while driving to work on the Parkway, singing and smiling like I always do, I get stuck behind some douche going 50 in the fast lane.I can't pass him, as more douches are to the right so ... still smiling I start honking and politely tell the daft cunt to get the fuck out of my way, as I am a famous historian.
He immediately starts reaching for something in his backseat. I think ... gun. And hey, I had a good run.
But as he is moving stuff around I see something flying around, it's a parking permit. And wouldn't you know it flew out of his window and I see it coming ... I reach my hand out the moon roof and ... yahtzee.
I caught it, hahah. The cars next to me are honking their horns now, and passengers are clapping ... we are still going 50/60 at this point. I finally get next to the guy and go, 'Hey buddy, your parking permit flew out of the window. Pull off and I'll give it to you.'
I pull off ... he parks behind me and is making a choking face. He can't find his inhaler, it apparently rolled off his lap or something ghey while he was driving.
Now I am thinking ... so he just kept driving, this guy deserves to fucking die he would have passed out at the wheel and just took a whole slew of people out.
So I go in his dirty car and find his inhaler, and he starts slobbing on it like ... well I guess his life depended on it.
He starts thanking me up and down, telling me I saved his life, he can't believe someone saw him and noticed what was happening.
So I tell him, "Haha, I'm sorry I didn't pull you over because of that. I was the guy yelling at you, and honking to get out of the fast lane until something flew out of your window." And I show him the parking permit, "I caught it and figured you might need it."
His eyes get as big as dinner plates and ... he reaches for his inhaler again, and starts slobbing on it all over again, hahah.
I felt like saying a G.I. Joe PSA to him, about not endangering others and at the first sign pull over - or wear his inhaler on a chain around his neck but decide ... this is kind of awkward as the guy is saying nothing. So I put the parking permit in his hand and tell him to have a good day, and stay out of the fast lane.
Then continue to drive to work.
... I am three hours late for work too, so if anyone says anything, I am going to inform them of this story and then proceed to justify my lack of time in the office the entire summer. The world needs me, more than work does.