Breakup Advice
Out of context: Reply #79
- Started
- Last post
- 140 Responses
- design_naked0
Holy crapola...do I have another screenname and sleep post to NT?...because, no joke, I went through that exact same thing 6 months ago...literally the only difference is that we had been together for 8 years.
Even though our situations are almost exactly the same how you will (and should) handle this is probably different from how I did...
For me, it was pretty mutual...we both loved each other (always will) but we just felt that, although we were both fairly happy dating, that we weren't happy to the point where we should get married to each other and that if we got married just for the sake of getting married because we're getting older that we wouldn't be truly happy. Having both been children of divorce we would like to avoid that in our marriage if possible and didn't want to chance it.
It's effing hard to end a 7 or 8 year relationship when things aren't going that badly but you just don't ever want to get married. I'm glad it was mutual and we're both really good friends and everything is fairly cool between us but there are times where I think it may be easier if we ended things badly...I would never want that but it's just a thought.
I think what helped me was that for the last 2 years her and I hadn't really been dating dating...we were living together but we only hung out every once in a while and we only had sex like 10 times a year (which SUCKED)...we would get home from work and she would go watch her shows in the bedroom and I would watch tv in the living room...we were together but not really. Soooo, I had 2 years of things kind of being so so before ending it...and since it wasn't completely out of the blue to her when I did end it it went as well as something like that could go.
Over the last 6 months her and I have been talking on the phone MAYBE once a week and I hang out with her MAYBE once a month. It's been really good for both of us...although I still have moments where I break down...it's hard not to when you've known someone for almost 1/3 of your life...but all in all we're pretty good and pretty happy with our current situations.
Also, I've met someone else and she is amazing...we totally line up a lot better than me and my ex and that has been eye opening and refreshing and confidence building.
Sometimes the hardest decisions are the best.
I'm not really sure how much of me posting about my situation helps you with yours but it definitely makes me feel a bit better...hahaha...sorry...hopefu... this helps somehow.
P.S. - sorry for the long ass post...I haven't even read what everyone else responded with yet but felt I needed to share since when I read your post I felt as though it was something I could have written 6 months ago.