Go see Apocalypto!
Out of context: Reply #81
- Started
- Last post
- 87 Responses
- ********0
"Like his other movies, Mel Gibson's Apocalypto is a snuff film with artistic pretensions-- a vulgar amalgam of graphic violence, cheap symbolism, absurd subtitled dialogue (I AM BLACK PANTHER!), and ambitious set designs. The whole thing is hilarious, but here are the funniest moments:
Baby shooting out of a vagina underwater during torrential rainstorm, on the eve of European conquest.
Death Porn sound effects such as gratuitous squelching of blood-- especially hilarious when hero's father gets his throat slit and stands bleeding all over the sacred soil in the primeval forest of man's innocence or whatever.
Monkey motif: random shot of angry monkeys early in film. later, monkey fighting sequence that culminates with one falling into the cavern where hero's pregnant wife (aka rainwater vagina) is hiding. after she clubs the poor bugger to death, the scene abruptly ends, leaving us to wonder... did she eat him? make him into a tiny suit for her unborn child?
Slow motion running sequence (as hero is chased by hungry panther)-- imagine Baywatch without titties.
Evil man getting face eaten off by same panther (see also: Death Porn sound effects).
Scene featuring Hogan's Heroes zig-zag run.
Scene in which hero leaps over 50 foot waterfall and his enemies do the same. Close-up of someone unfortunate fool's head smashing against a rock underwater. LOL. (see also: Death Porn sound effects)
In short: way better than Crash and Love Actually, but not as good as Snakes on a Plane or Monkey Shines.
P.S. I don't know why everyone has such a hard-on for the supposedly "stunning" cinematography in this film. I will concede that the scenes in the Mayan capital of decadence are quite impressive, but most of the movie is filmed like an episode of Xena."