Mail Order
Out of context: Reply #1
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- digitalswarm0
Latest Story:
I was in Boca Raton this weekend at a Greek wedding, doing it big like Steven Seagal's calves. I rented a silver convertible, wore flourescent tanktops each day, and cruised around doing key bumps of shitty cocaine, while hitting on overly tan 65 year old Jewish women. Oh, and I was constantly eating cold cuts.
Saturday night I went down to Miami to wild out and pee in the pool. I went to a hotel bar where my man was spinning, and I met a broad named Coco. She was tall, leggy, and had such a defined jawline (you know how much my fat jewish ass loves bone structure.) We got to talking, i showed her my famous bar-mitzvah dance moves, and we sipped scotch. Finally we ended up leaving the bar together and causing mayhem in the streets, We wilded out, threw chairs at the Shore Club into the pool, cruised the strip pumping Wet Wipes by Cam'ron, and just generally doing the damn thing. i was so bent. i ended up taking Coco back to my room at the Clarion, and i remember very little, but we definitely hooked up. All i can recall now is Coco licking scotch off my chest, me falling into the bathtub, and "The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants" playing in the background on the television.
I woke up around 9 and Coco was ghost.
Later in the day I met my man who was spinning the night before for lunch. I had a Cobb salad, and he had a panini with sundried tomatoes and some proscuitto. I digress. He asks me where I disappeared to the night before, and i tell him that I took Coco back to my telly room. Here's the dialogue that ensued:
Me: Yeah, I took that babe Coco home.
Him: What? Coco?
Me: yeah, she has great hands
Him: Dude...... Coco is a jawnbol. She's post-op, but she's still part dude. What the fuck man, didn't you notice? Her hands are huge!
Me: I drank a bottle of Jameson and took xanax.
Him: (ror'ing FOR DAYS)So Coco didn't have a dick, but she used to be a guy.
Just wanted to share.