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Out of context: Reply #5500
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Q: I wonder if you could talk about some of your early influences. I'm thinking in particular of well-known influences.
A: Well, Dudley Fitts, of course... He was at Andover when I knew him, but I think all the schools had him at one time or another. Of course, he was getting pretty old at that point. His best days were probably behind him. He had some weird theory about transmuting base metals into gold.
Q: And later, at Harvard....
A: Well, he came with me to Harvard. He followed me around there for a number of years.
Q: You've written movingly of your falling-out.
A: There came a time--inevitably, I suppose--when I felt I had to repudiate his influence. Remember, this was Harvard in the sixties; I was taking a lot of mind-altering drugs, appearing with my friends on David Susskind and so forth, and eventually he became an embarassment.
Still, I'm not proud of it; still haven't quite forgiven myself. I'm working on that. I've given myself permission to forgive myself.
To this day, I find myself thinking, "What would Dudley do in this situation?" Or, "What would Dudley think of this?" I try to find myself worthy of his memory. In a way, I guess he's become my Beatrice--him and Beatrice Potter.
Q: You dangled him by the ankles from your tenth floor window.
A: That is absolutely not true! Cal Lowell did that. (Shudders) You could always tell when Cal was "going off"--that ghastly smile of his, glasses all steamy...
OK--so I was in the room when it happened...
OK, OK--so I held one of his ankles. But it was Cal's idea. That was a summer! I'm afraid we all went a little crazy.