dad questions
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- zombee0
Merconium > Be afraid, be very afraid!
Also, sleep - enjoy every wink of it you get while it lasts.
The best bit of advice I can give you though is this: DON'T LISTEN TO ANYONE ELSES ADVICE, YOU'LL GO MAD. Just trust your instincts and go with the flow.
- moniker1
RUN!
- kona2
A little advice from a father of 3 boys aged 5, 2, and 7mo.
You aren't going to break them as a baby. Don't treat them like a rag doll obviously but don't freak out when picking them up or putting them down, or when holding them, or lifting their leg to clean their diaper, or any other time holding them. You aren't going to break them.
They will break you. The severe lack of sleep and all that comes with it is real. Very real. Marriages have dissolved over it. You guys will have to figure out what works best for you but for us we did shifts. One person takes one night, the other person takes the next. If you trade off every other feeding (and some feedings can be 1-2 hours between so times that by 8-9 hours a night) and you both wake up tired as shit. If you do nightly shifts, or even half the night one person, half the night the other, you'll at least start to get some reasonable sleep. Also this is by far the most important thing I can tell you. When baby sleeps, you sleep. Seriously. You'll need it.
Pick one day a week and get a sitter every week. You and your significant other go out and have dinner, watch a movie, go to the park and sleep for 5 hours in your car (we've done this), whatever. You'll need adult time away from your baby. You're not a bad parent. You're human. Don't feel the need to be 'with' your baby 100% of the time, it's impossible.
At-home daycare vs. daycare. Who flipping cares. I have personally seen more kids go through either side and not a single one of them is better or worse than the other. In the long run it doesn't matter because they'll all eventually go to preschool at the same damn age and learn the same damn things.
Colic babies are the real deal. If you think you have one (and speaking from experience I hope you don't) you can't do it on your own. Talk to your doctor and pick up a good book on the subject.
Finally, you'll need to experiment to find what works for your baby to sooth them when they cry. Some are OK in a carseat. Some in a swing going side-to-side, some swinging back and forth. Some need a car ride, some need you to hold them face down on you, some need you to hold them 'sitting' in your arms looking out. Some like to bounce, some like to lay on their back and be spun around like a 1980s break dancer (don't do this no matter how awesome it sounds). You'll have to experiment.
Have fun. It will literally be the most rewarding thing you'll ever do!
- stoplying0
Read books to them as often as you can.
Introduce a baby sitter as early as you can, and go out with your wife - even if only for a walk for an hour or two.
Give them a lot of different foods to experience.
Tickle the shit out of them.
Get a stroller that you can run with and go running with them. They love it.
Don't let a television, iPad, phone be a substitute for you.
Don't be afraid to tell your wife or yourself that you have NO IDEA what you're doing sometimes. But it will work out.
And congratulations!
- We read to ours almost every night since she was 5 months old. It's calming and sets a good routine.mg33
- read them your books on parentingsarahfailin
- monoboy1
Leave a pile of your clothes on the nearest beach and start a new life in South America.
- scoops1
One of the best things anyone said to me was this:
Babies will test a marriage.
I don't think i understood it until about 2 months in, but somehow knowing the arguments my wife and i were having weren't unique to us and that everyone feels like they could kill their spouse at one point or another helped me immensely. I'd repeat it in my head whenever i felt myself losing perspective. I found perspective was a very rare resource when our daughter was small.
Other random bits over the years:
this book can settle a lot of arguments rising out of what people say you should do
http://www.amazon.com/Baby-411-C…If your wife is breastfeeding, try to get her to start pumping early so you can take turns waking up with the baby. 3am was some of the best time i spent with my kid in the early days.
No one can raise your kid but you. Listen to all the advice (solicited and unsolicited) and then do what you feel is best.
People will be judgmental and horrible. do not listen to any of that, ever.
Your kid will teach you so much. Every single day. Enjoy and congratulations!
- scoops0
Oh! and start daycare early. it'll help the wee one socialize, learn to share and get a ridiculously strong immune system.
- DaveO1
I'm a new dad! A boy (Roman) 4 months old, HUGE kid.
So good reading some of these stories, as its all common ground once you become a parent. The sleep is the hardest thing, I can never get him to nap if I'm looking after him all day. It becomes a fight to try and calm him down and i get super worried he's going to miss it. Then take him out in the stroller but get worried again that he's only able to sleep when sat in there!
Then also trying for my wife to go back to work and also live in New York on less money and wondering why we don't move back to England where our parents live.
My wife is a superstar though, really natural as a mum, constantly impressed by her abilities. I have no idea how people do it alone and those who do deserve a round of applause.
- trooperbill0
anyone read the contented baby? its supposed to help your kid sleep through. my boss swears by it but theres too many versions on amazon and i dont know which one to buy.
- Nope. Kids are all different and some stuff works, and some doesn't. Most doesn't. We bought some cheapo white noise machines that work well.stoplying
