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Cancer Cured?! 2828 Responses

Last post: 1 year, 9 months ago | Thread started: Aug 11, 11, 9:24 a.m.

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  • detritus

    BY HIV*?!?!111//ONEtyflop

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4409…

    .

    * a modified, harmless version of HIV**

    .

    ** prelude to an apocalyptic sci-fi story

    Aug 11, 11, 9:24 a.m. – Permalink
  • moniker

    "Rub a little HIV on it"
    is the new
    "Rub a little Aloe on it"

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    Dog-earAug 11, 11, 9:25 a.m. – Permalink
  • i_monk

    *holds breath*

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    Dog-earAug 11, 11, 9:25 a.m. – Permalink
  • jacklalane

    http://cancer4cure.blogspot.com/…

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    Dog-earAug 11, 11, 9:28 a.m. – Permalink
  • nb

    "It is important to emphasize that there still have been only three patients. Over the past century, many attempts to harness the body’s immune system to fight cancer have shown initial success and subsequent failure."

    - from the original msnbc article.

    • pfft *closes thread*drgs
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    Dog-earAug 11, 11, 9:31 a.m. – Permalink
  • Jaline

    I'm certain they'll figure out something (even better) within the next 30-40 years.

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    Dog-earAug 11, 11, 9:33 a.m. – Permalink
  • registe

    pour some 'tussin on it = sprinkle some AIDS on it

    I love technological advancement and people who aren't blaming homosexuality, then praying things will get better

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    Dog-earAug 11, 11, 9:34 a.m. – Permalink
  • CALLES

    how much for the treatment??!?!?

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    Dog-earAug 11, 11, 9:35 a.m. – Permalink
  • jon_d

    looks good, now we hope no zombies or killer monks come out of this.

    • monkees.jon_d1/2
      killer monks would be awesome if they knew martial arts.mantrakid2/2
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    Dog-earAug 11, 11, 9:45 a.m. – Permalink
  • Horp

    Apparently apricot seeds have been curing cancer for years.

    http://health.centreforce.com/he…
    http://www.naturalnews.com/02708…

    ^ You can tell by the quality of these websites that this shit is officially true.

    • I'd rather have HIV than eat a fucking apricot.moniker1/7
      You say that Moniker, but consider this...Horp2/7
      Apricot, backwards, ir Tocirpa.Horp3/7
      IS, not 'ir'.
      Fucking fingers like cheese straws, me.
      Horp4/7
      Did I ever tell you about an ex-friend's ‘Dog cancer cureˆ website? I hope not. It'd be a terrible admission.detritus5/7
      Don't get me started on cheese strawsmoniker6/7
      Come on Detritus, admit it.
      ADMIT YOUR ANECDOTE IMMEDIATELY.
      Horp7/7
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    Dog-earAug 11, 11, 9:46 a.m. – Permalink
  • vaxorcist

    I can imagine the spam writers auto-word-substitution bots going nuts on this.....

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    Dog-earAug 11, 11, 9:50 a.m. – Permalink
  • boobs

    Oh, fuck! Now all these old people are going to live forever!

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    Dog-earAug 11, 11, 9:51 a.m. – Permalink
  • Horp

    I wonder if the point of this is that Aids kills cancer patients, thereby stopping the cancer in its tracks.

    • Imagine all the illnesses that can be eradicated by this simple equation.Horp1/3
      "I'm a leper"
      "Have some Syphillis"
      Horp2/3
      I've just discovered a knife to the throat cures club foot.moniker3/3
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    Dog-earAug 11, 11, 9:52 a.m. – Permalink
  • ideaist

    http://www.healthorwealth.ca/s/10017/apricot.jpg

    • this makes me think of vaginamoniker1/6
      Really? It makes me think of testicle.Melanie2/6
      well moni is a guy and meli is a gurlCALLES3/6
      this makes me think of lifeinvectorregiste4/6
      must be a hermaphrodite.Pumpkin_baby5/6
      ideaist knows whats up.moldero6/6
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    Dog-earAug 11, 11, 9:53 a.m. – Permalink
  • BozMan

    "June put it, is that the white blood cells became “serial killers” relentlessly tracking down and killing the cancer cells in the blood, bone marrow and lymph tissue"

    Side effect = You become a serial killer = Zombie?

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    Dog-earAug 11, 11, 10:03 a.m. – Permalink
  • CALLES

    "the good news is that we can cure your leukemia... tha bad news is that we be giving you HIV"

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    Dog-earAug 11, 11, 10:05 a.m. – Permalink
  • Horp

    Stock-reduced cannellini beans with fresh pork sausage and tomotes, and fizzy water from the same country, can cure hunger.

    • must be taken three times daily.moniker1/2
      i needs the cureduhsign2/2
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    Dog-earAug 11, 11, 10:14 a.m. – Permalink
  • drgs

    like Alien vs Predator

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    Dog-earAug 11, 11, 10:20 a.m. – Permalink
  • pablo_28

    <blink><font color="Red">TEST</font></blink>

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    Dog-earAug 11, 11, 10:29 a.m. – Permalink
  • colin_s

    whoa

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    Dog-earAug 11, 11, 10:37 a.m. – Permalink
  • mg33

    Kind of makes me think of:

    The phone rings. The lady of the house answers, “Yes?”

    “Mrs. Ward, please.”
    “Speaking”
    “Mrs. Ward, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing Laboratory. When your Doctor sent your husband’s samples to the lab, the samples from another Mr. Ward was sent as well and we are now uncertain which one is your husband’s. Frankly, it is either bad or terrible.”

    “What do you mean?” Mrs. Ward asks.
    “Well, one Mr. Ward has tested positive for Alzheimer’s and the other for AIDS. We can’t tell which your husband’s is”

    “That’s terrible! Can we do the test over?” questions Mrs.. Ward.

    “Normally, yes. But Medicare won’t pay for these expensive tests more than once.”
    “Well, what am I supposed to do now?”

    “The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don’t sleep with him”.

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    Dog-earAug 11, 11, 10:41 a.m. – Permalink

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