Dear Asshole
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- BR5-49
Here's a letter I sent to my boss last year. He was a real doucher, the type that would loudly brag to the office about his porsche and how well his jujitsu students were coming along. He'd under-compensate everyone while ripping off anyone he did business with (he didn't have an ethical bone in his body). It's the only job I haven't given 2 weeks notice to and it felt good to push send. Fuck his porsche and his jujitsu class.
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XXXXXX
I'm sending this email as a heads-up to inform you that I won't be continuing my employment with XXXXXXX. Friday evening I accepted an offer from another company. I won't go into unnecessary detail, but here are the basic reasons as to the why I made this choice:
• My new employer was in need of a designer immediately to handle some high-profile branding, packaging and web needs which, unfortunately, wouldn't allow me to give you a 2 week notice.
• This employer offered a salary which increased my pay by over 60%.
• Full health and dental coverage is being made available to me within the first month of employment, while a 401K is available immediately, none of which have been made available to me by your company.
• My commute has decreased by 75%, making my days more efficient while saving money in gas/maintenance/repairs.
• Your willingness to outsource work so freely made me nervous as an employee. I understand that at times this practice reduces staff & payroll while helping the bottom line, but I felt like I'd always be looking over my shoulder about having my job outsourced to lower-quality personnel for pennies on the dollar.
• Witnessing the mass exodus of XXXXXXX & Friends from the office a few days into the job, as well as the extremely high rate of turnover overall, gave me some anxiety as to the stability of the company.
• The lack of attention to detail for the customers was frustrating. I'm aware that your industry and business model may make this unavoidable, but I don't see myself being involved with this type of work in the long term.
• The lack of originality in the web designs was also reason for concern. Many of the sites built by your company, in my opinion, borrowed too heavily from other websites in regards to content, layout and concept. I often felt that my graphic design education and philosophy conflicted with your idea of how a site should be designed.
• Some of your comments in the office had racist or sexist undertones, affecting my ability to feel comfortable in the office.I'd ask that you look at these criticisms constructively and use them to make the company better. There are a lot of talented employees working for you and I think that in the right circumstances they'd make XXXXXXX a premium web-design company.
I left the Mac with all of the needed programs installed, and you'll find any files that I worked on organized and easily located under "Documents". Any emails in which I corresponded with customers will also still be found in my Mail app.
I really hope the best for you and the rest of the team.
- monospaced0
cool story, bro
- iCanHasQBN0
- but seriously, good for you. must feel good to start fresh.iCanHasQBN
- graham0
XXXXXX
I'm sending this email as a heads-up to inform you that I won't be continuing my employment with XXXXXXX. Friday evening I accepted an offer from another company.- How far I'd get as your asshole bossgraham
- was thinking the exact same thing. i could just picture him clicking delete right at that point.iCanHasQBN
- mg330
- vitamins0
Enters lame joke of the day:
Somebody call me?
- monospaced0
- lollllld_rek
- not really if he was making an uncomfortable work place + people like that surround themselves with other assholes.74LEO
- The industry isn't that large, and this employer probably knows people. Bridges are bridges, no matter how ugly.monospaced
- silentpost0
this has to be the most feeble "dear asshole" letter I've ever read.
- what does feeble mean?vitamins
- "lacking physical strength"akrok
- or short for "weak".akrok
- Needs more F bombs.vitamins
- your company was feeble! your managment was feeble! your handshake was feeble!silentpost
- < F bombssilentpost
- harlequino0
Damn, you really let him have it.
What with your calm, clear, professional language diplomatically detailing a robust analysis of where his company and management could use improvement, a list of perfectly reasonable concerns, and an apparent "i'll take the high road in my stance and delivery" approach to an employment exit.
Fuckin hard. Right up his ass.
- vitamins0
Just slash his tires man.
- duckofrubber0
You were too nice. Wouldn't a Fuck You Very Much suffice?
- kona0
Dear Asshole
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Blah blah I loved working here blah blah talented staff blah blah creative blah blah can be a great company blah blah thank you.
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Where's the part where you call him an asshole?
- hilchev0
"about having my job outsourced to lower-quality personnel for pennies on the dollar"
- SteveJobs0
deal asshore, me no rikey you.
- < no, that's racistSteveJobs
- SPEAK ENGRISH!74LEO
- don't make fun of my peepoSrSamaurai