Home Invasion
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- JackRyan0
You should have fucked with him...started laughing...
"Oh man we got wasted last night...you should have seen the look on that chicks face. Dude, so what are you going to say to your parents? I mean, I'm pretty sure everyone at the part got a picture of you sucking that guys dick...HAHAHAHAHAHA. Well I ordered a pizza want to play some x-box?"
- dibec0
that reminds of a night that I woke up in a recycling dumpster.
- dbloc0
Question:
How did he have a key to your back door?
- kona0
^ that happened to my best friend one night senior year of high school, minus the shooting in the face.
my best friend got piss drunk and walked home from the house party we were at. problem was he went in the back door of the wrong house (2 blocks over from his own house) and stumbled into the living room and passed out on the sofa. he was woken up in the morning by the sound of a shotgun being cocked and water being thrown into his face. he residents walked him out point blank and threw him into the street. he left his wallet, shoes and eyeglasses, and never had the nerve to go back and ask for them. lol. he's lucky they didn't shoot him when he walked in.
- Frosty_spl0
A friend of a friend went into the wrong apartment shitfaced one night. Got shot in the face point blank by the resident.
- fooler20
I knew this guy that accidently walked into the wrong condo totally shit faced and on shrooms in the middle of the night. He was vacationing and couldn't remember what condo he was staying in. He ended up finding a bed and just passed out in in not knowing there was a little boy in the bed. He woke up to the kid screaming and the father beating the shit out of him with a barbell and a golf club.
He swears he had no idea what or where he was but they tried to throw the book at him for child endangerment.
That was over 10 years ago and to this day if you google his name that story is the third hit after his LinkedIn and Facebook profile.
- i_monk0
I convinced him he was in the wrong apartment and escorted him out.
He had a big drink or drool stain on his shoulder, was belching and smelled like booze. If he was trying to rob me he's simultaneously the loudest robber ever and one hell of an actor.
- You're a patient man, I would have cracked him one good. Bet he wouldn't do it again to anyone else, either.Andrew_D
- lukus_W0
Sounds like an excuse .. he was probably trying to burglarise you.
- necromation0
If lived in the states... That would have been a perfect time to test out my Beretta 9mm.
Shup Shup... Thud! (body slides down wall)
- monospaced0
are you married, or do you live with a girlfriend, i_monk?
- Blissfully single.i_monk
- I'm so alone. So alone... *rocks back and forth*i_monk
- use your tears for lubrication.iCanHasQBN
- mrghost0
i thought they removed the adult service section from craigslist...
- autoflavour0
its hardly a home invasion.. did your whole family get killed?
- georgesIII0
weeellll, Obviously we have a rapist in QBN
- Andrew_D0
Did you crack him one for good measure?
- flashbender0
"He had a key to my back door and thought he was at home."
How did he come to possess this key?
- No idea! He wasn't any of the 3 past occupants (I've met them).i_monk
- weird.
Surprise buttsecks!flashbender
- brandelec0
did he whisper into your ear.... "it's casper..."