Home Invasion
- Started
- Last post
- 26 Responses
- i_monk
I woke up at 6:30 Sunday morning to the sound and sight of a drunk frat boy who'd let himself into my apartment. He had a key to my back door and thought he was at home.
- rusty_ace0
change your locks
- i_monk0
I did.
- brandelec0
when you say key to your back door, do you mean butt rape?
- And by key, did you mean...Peter
- hahaha!oey
- pee peezenmasterfoo
- bjladams0
if you still have him there tied up in the basement, you should see if he's working for the commies.
- georgesIII0
Nah, brandelec or he would have mentioned "fell into the rabbit hole"
me think
- CALLES0
hahaha... was he hawt?
- brandelec0
did he whisper into your ear.... "it's casper..."
- flashbender0
"He had a key to my back door and thought he was at home."
How did he come to possess this key?
- No idea! He wasn't any of the 3 past occupants (I've met them).i_monk
- weird.
Surprise buttsecks!flashbender
- Andrew_D0
Did you crack him one for good measure?
- georgesIII0
weeellll, Obviously we have a rapist in QBN
- autoflavour0
its hardly a home invasion.. did your whole family get killed?
- mrghost0
i thought they removed the adult service section from craigslist...
- monospaced0
are you married, or do you live with a girlfriend, i_monk?
- Blissfully single.i_monk
- I'm so alone. So alone... *rocks back and forth*i_monk
- use your tears for lubrication.iCanHasQBN
- necromation0
If lived in the states... That would have been a perfect time to test out my Beretta 9mm.
Shup Shup... Thud! (body slides down wall)
- lukus_W0
Sounds like an excuse .. he was probably trying to burglarise you.
- i_monk0
I convinced him he was in the wrong apartment and escorted him out.
He had a big drink or drool stain on his shoulder, was belching and smelled like booze. If he was trying to rob me he's simultaneously the loudest robber ever and one hell of an actor.
- You're a patient man, I would have cracked him one good. Bet he wouldn't do it again to anyone else, either.Andrew_D
- fooler20
I knew this guy that accidently walked into the wrong condo totally shit faced and on shrooms in the middle of the night. He was vacationing and couldn't remember what condo he was staying in. He ended up finding a bed and just passed out in in not knowing there was a little boy in the bed. He woke up to the kid screaming and the father beating the shit out of him with a barbell and a golf club.
He swears he had no idea what or where he was but they tried to throw the book at him for child endangerment.
That was over 10 years ago and to this day if you google his name that story is the third hit after his LinkedIn and Facebook profile.