Stuff my wife says
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- mikotondria30
No, I won't ever blow you again so stop torturing yourself.
Why can't you just put the vacuum round once in a while and do the laundry, you do get to stay home, after all.
- oey0
A friend of mine once made that question among friends, someone replied:
Normally I put a sock in your wife's mouth, so I don't know about stuff your wife says...- everybody laughed and unless the first one, he hit the second, and we had to hold him back!oey
- that's a good reply though. cheers!zenmasterfoo
- Peter0
"I'm a ball, I want to throw up"
Uttered while playing with my testicles
- BusterBoy0
1. Are you in?
2. Good night
3. Is that all?Jumble those three around in any order you like.
- WeLoveNoise0
her: Lets do something ? i'm bored
me: Ok cool, give me 10 mins to wrap this up
her: FFS, your always on that just put it away
me: christ i said give me 10 mins to finish a conversation then we can do anything you want
her: thats not my point, your always fuckin on it................................... blood begin to boil
me: your always playing scrabble on your fuckin iphone or watching shite on tv and you dont see me fuckin moaning about it. You think i like watching your crappy fucked up kardashan family, who i've never heard off do the exact same moaning as your doing right now?
................................... uncomfortable silence
me: right done, what you fancy doing then, cinema, park.......?
her: dont wana do anything with you
me: fine, i'm off to pub then, give me a call when you've come to your senses- shes definitely the one thoughWeLoveNoise
- thanks for reminding me that being single for a while is not so badernexbcn
- really not that bad
your get it in any relationship i reckonWeLoveNoise
- necromation0
1. Fuck my life...
2. Eat a dick man!
3. it goes alright
- ApeRobot0
classic
- trooperbill0
her "what do you want for lunch"
me "pasta?"
her "i dont want pasta"
me "then why fucking ask me"
- ali0
- ali0
It's quite pleasing to see that men actually listen and remember stuff their wife says.
- of course. but survival depends on how well we can pull off the 'stare and nod'.prophet
- 'stare and nod' , ha ha ha. so true.neandersthal
- i just look at the computer screen and every once in awhile say "yeah... i know.. uhhuh... ha..."Douglas
- pumpaction0
"maybe you could let me drive, once we're on the highway?"
- Just tell her she can shift...
*winkETM - there's no way in hell i'm letting mine drive. i don't know how those dudes always in the passenger seat do it.Douglas
- They're drunk.pumpaction
- Just tell her she can shift...
- pumpaction0
My mother is coming from Paris to stay with us for two weeks, is it ok with you ?
- "sweet. oh i forgot to tell you, my bro from college is bunking up w/ us while he's in town looking for work..."prophet
- dirtydesign0
blah blah blah
blah blah BLAH
BLAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH
- Douglas0
i will sit here quite until she says something, then type whatever it is and post it...
"can you do me a favor, i wanna put something on your computer desktop to check the color on this..."
pretty exciting stuff.
- RumperChunk0
What gets me the most is when she doesn't say anything... When she looks at me and shakes her head... Sometimes she'll start crying too.. That's special...
- RoyBoyII0
so when is the divorce settlement happening?
- prophet0
"is there a special reason why you need six drum machines?"
- ...where do you start !?mikotondria3
- by nodding and backing out of the room...prophet
- haha.akrokdesign
- LOLHAYZ1LLA
- prophet0
"never mind what's in this kate spade bag."
- akrok0
"i saw the way she looked at you!"
- prophet0
"i don't give a rat's ass."