The Office Douche
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- 40 Responses
- gabe0
don't encourage him by "fake laughing" at his jokes. obviously he's socially inept and he doesn't realize that people's sideways grins and feigned amusement is really just uncomfortable laughter...
- Raniator0
if he's not your boss, tell him to fuck off. simple.
- OSFA0
And Raniator closes the thread.
Thanks everyone. Good night.
- dbloc0
bang his sister.
- benfal990
destroy his computer
- benfal990
spit in his monitor
- benfal990
put rocks in his printer
- spendogg0
StinkPalm™
- janne760
it seems like he is rather uncomfortable about himself. in psychology the one trying to be boss or being naggy is always suffering from things inside his head, whether in private life or at work.
be kind to him, invite him for a drink, sit down and ask him many vital questions to find out where the problem is.
ask him the size of his penis, ask him if he really fancies men, ask him if he rather lives with his mommy.. those sort of questions.put your hand on his if he feels uncomfortable.. and if he gets more depressed rub his leg under the table, gently.
if he, in the worst case scenario, gets up, yells at you and walks away, stare around innocent and let everyone know, out loud, he wasn't like that in bed yesterday night...
then yell at him to come back and promise you will use some better brand of lube next time..
- mikotondria30
Undertake whatever course you judge will cause you the least stress from this person.
I would just fake smile and subtely yet definately pretend I didn't really get what the joke was. This will implant a sense of unsatisfaction in him when he tries to get you 'in' on his viewpoint, and you'll eventually be seen as not really worth bothering or bothering with.
You need to camouflage yourself into the rest of the office, but not that well - you need him to think he's spotted that you're not as clever as either you or he thinks you are, and that you're really not that exciting to deal with.
I bet he has this horrid rictus-like grin doesnt he ? That you can almost see occurring out the back of your head.... I know this man. I feel your pain.
- BIGGESTDOGINTHEWORLD0
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"who mimics scenes from family guy, south park, american dad, etc. like a walking tv set"
YES!!! I worked with a cunt like this, but it was even worse he basically just mimics annoying TV adverts. I was the only one annoyed by it though.
- showpony0
"look douche, we've all seen family guy too, but let's get back to work... the grownups are trying to get stuff done. giggity."
- jimzy0
"look douche, shut the fuck up or ill staple your balls to your chair."
- Projectile0
seriously.. there's one way to handle this.. when he says make the logo bigger, just say very loudly: "ppffff are you crazy? That's the first no no in design school baby!! hahaha Nah seriously you just cant do that. No questions." ..implying that he's a novice
That'll
a) teach him hes not your boss
b) put the fear of god into him before he opens his mouth again
c) make him look like the idiot he is
- dbloc0
give him a wet willie
- tasty0
Go at him like Wayne from the Wonder Years yelling "Noogies!!"