janne at the bakery
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- 41 Responses
- popfodders0
janne: will you be joining me for a late night drink baker?
baker: depends on what you're offering?
- Hombre_Lobo0
i get so sick of hearing these lines. great thread. cheap asses!
- janne760
janne: we all love the bread but my nephews new girlfriend doesn't like the shade of the flour so much, can you replace it?
- identity0
Janne: You know, I have an oven at home and just purchased some dough. I know bread isn't that hard to make and I WOULD do it myself if I wasn't busy preparing the rest of this party. Now, please, do all that I ask. Like I said, it really isnt that hard, you mix this with that, stick it in the oven and outcomes a loaf of bread. What's so difficult about this? In fact, now that I think about it, Im really only to give you four pounds for such a menial task.
- janne760
baker: we can't do any more work on this for this budget..
janne: keep working hard an i may pay you 50 cents more!
baker: but we knead the dough!
janne: good, man, keep on kneading!
- janne760
BTE
- chossy0
Why did the baker have brown hands?. because he was kneeding a shite.
- sureshot0
janne ik wil een wit puntje!
- arthur0
(Janne arrives a bit later to pick up his completed loaf of bread.)
baker: Ah, Janne, good to see you. This bread was a really tough order but I think you'll be very pleased. You'll see that I...
Janne: (looks at bread) Um, when I said "bread" I really meant "fruit salad." I thought you understood that. Did you not get that? Everyone knows that. How did you not get that? How long have you been a baker?
baker:...
- acrossthesea0
janne: (picking up ordered bread from the baker) My gluten-challenged friend won't have a problem with this right?
baker: *smacks forehead*
- jimbojones0
janne: can you add some exciting to the current bread? like a ribbon, yes, I like ribbons
baker: ...
janne: come on, I'm your paying customer after all! make it red.
baker: ok :(
janne: and put this badly shot picture of my ugly girlfriend in the middle.
baker: ok :(
janne: and make her look thinner.
baker: ok :(
janne: thinner than that. even thinner. as thin as if she would fit through the door. yes. and make her blonde.
baker: ok :(
janne: and write "for my hunnybunnycutiepie" in a beautiful font above the picture. no, not that font. I like Comic Sans. And add some stars. And some smilies. And make the bread green. And make it a square.
baker: done :(
janne: ok, well since I came up with at least 50% of the ideas, I should pay you 50%.
baker: *eats bread*
*dies*
- baseline_shift0
janne: "I am new to baking and food and I came across this website while researching and I thought it was an interesting concept. Seems like it could be a really good way for people who are new to this industry to get some experience and build a portfolio of breads. Thoughts?"
baker: "..."
- erikjonsson0
you forgot.
janne: oh my wife is actually a hobby baker and she thought you should use raisins instead of almonds
- gentleman0
janne: oh turns out we had some bread guidelines i wasn't aware of. do you mind rebaking the bread to comform to these
baker: but that uses a completely different type of flour we don't stock here.. can you supply it to us?
janne: what am i a supermarket? get baking.
- ukit0
janne: hi baker, can you bake me a nice bread?
baker: sure, what kind of bread do you want?
janne: this kind of bread, bitch *blam blam*
*tosses money from register into bag, runs out front door*
- ukit0
baker: ok, now that i see that bling necklace you are pimping along with diamond studded belt, i am going to charge 30 euros instead of 18.
janne: don't be fooled by the rocks that I got, I'm still janne from the block.- lol, terribleRustyStew
- LOLacrossthesea
- I don't remember when I last loled at the screen like that..raf
- hahacuke426
- fucking amazing ukit!dorf
- identity0
this is a great thread! :-)
- ukit0
janne: hi...
baker: No