Kona Stories
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- kona0
So I'm in the fabulous Las Vegas during the weekend of the Rodeo championships. It's a Saturday night and my friend Paul, myself and my girlfriend leave Tangerine pretty lit up very late in the night. Seeing as how it was the Rodeo weekend pretty much every club and hotel was filled with cowboys, normally a nice bunch. Not on this fateful night however. After leaving the club I sit down at a one-armed-bandit and start playing. About a half hour in I win, only a couple hundred bucks, but to a guy without a lot of money it was huge. The machine starts the payout sound as I cash out and a crowd starts to gather trying to see how much I won. As my girlfriend came over she got me all excited about the win cause it meant we could go shopping so all excited and half in the bag I yell out "I LOVE YOU KENNY LOGGINS" to which the cowboys around me quickly replied "THAT'S KENNY ROGERS YOU IDIOT" and started to get a bit restless. It seems I offended their God cause it turns out I was playing the Kenny Rogers Gambler machine, not the Kenny Loggins um.... whatever machine.. So before the crowd got too ugly we made a mad dash for the door while some obscenities were heard in the distance.
- kona0
One night I had finally talked my girlfriend into watching a kung fu movie with me. Usually it's a trade off between us, one of my shoot em up bloody movies to her two shmoopy movies. Anywho, after the movie I get up from the sofa and go into the kitchen for a glass of water. All of a sudden I hear this crazy shriek come from the living room. As I rush in adrenaline flowing she's screaming 'a spider a spider' and pointing to the love seat. There I see this ginormous spider. So, with the spirit of kung fu rushing through me I kicked the living hell out of the thing with a mighty front kick and ended up breaking my little toe. As I curled to the floor in pain I wasn't even sure I killed the spider. Funny thing breaking the little toe, there isn't anything you can do about it other than take pain relievers. I guess it's a good thing I don't own any ninja swords.
- hahaha I know that game. Except the part about water (booze) and breaking a toe (on account of the amount of milk I drink).flavorful
- kona0
qbn won't allow me to post the smootie story. I keep getting the "ERROR - Response: Your request has been denied due to the nature of it's conent.
Oh well.
- kona0
k guys. I gotta go. Hope you like hearing the same ol stories again. It's been fun. Laterz!
studderine.... HOLD DOWN THE FORT BUDDAY! haha
- kona0
So last night I'm shopping for some groceries at the local whole foods supermarket (yes, whole foods, I don't actually go out and kill cows with my bare hands, who knew), anyways, just before I leave I go to the juice stand in the supermarket and order a large natural juice drink. Mmmm.... tasty.
So I check out and as I'm walking the cart out to my car I happen to look up at this blue minivan coming at me going to pass on my right and I see this kid, probably 16 or 17 or so leaning out the window with his arms out. At first I think it's someone I know, then I hear him say "HEY MOTHER (REALLY BAD WORD)!" trying to scare me, and then quickly leans inside the car laughing at his buddy and they both share a laugh together. I'm sure I had a WTF OMG or something look on my face. Priceless.
Here's the problem, the kid did it far too soon and the minivan was traveling way too slow. So as it's about to pass and they are still laughing I, almost nonchalantly, toss my almost full Natural Fruit Smoothie into the vehicle and it hits him in his chest and explodes inside the car... then, THAT look on HIS face was indeed the most priceless look of the event. Then a funny thing happened in that brief instant before he passed completely so I could no longer see the OMG THIS IS MY MOMS CAR look on his face... his buddy driving the car put the pedal to the metal and sped off like I just through a high explosive device behind their car and they wanted to drive out of the blast radius.
In the millisecond it took for the juice drink to hit the kid it did pass through my mind that the two of them may get out and a fight would break out, but I was really counting on them being a couple of pansies and just driving off, but the opportunity to throw my smoothie into their car was just too good to pass up, I had to do it.
The moral of the story: Never mess with a guy holding a large delicious smoothie.
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^Story about the story above.
I was at an interview 2 years ago maybe and I had that story posted on my portfolio. Dumb I know, so before the interview I commented out the stories section. Well wouldn't ya know 10 minutes into the interview the CEO starts dying laughing. I'm like "uh.....". The dude was viewing my code and reading everything I'd commented out. So he made me, in front of everybody go through and tell the stories in person. I got the job, he said he liked my work and loved a good storyteller. Yay.
- kona0
k. Really gotta go. Have a great weekend everyone!