Juggling hookers
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- acescence0
is this a roundabout way of telling us you're available?
- TheBlueOne0
"I have something I need to tell you. I paid a hooker just to watch her juggle."
It should of just been that statement. And really, what guy hasn't done that.
- emukid0
none of the hookers i've met could ever juggle. useless whores the lot of them.
- Maybe you didn't pay them enough.TheBlueOne
- yeah, emu, thought don't actually do shit until you give them money7point34
- they not thought.... i'm fucking retarded today7point34
- acescence0
i paid a hooker to juggle
deez nuts
- kona0
My buddy and I kind of beat up a hooker one night... on accident.
I’m sure I’ve told the story in here before but the quick synopsis...
In Vegas many years ago and I’m passed out cold in our hotel room on one bed, and my friend Josh is passed out on the other. Out of no where our door busts open and slams into the wall of the hotel room with this loud crash waking us both up scared shitless. In an instant this large shadowy figure runs into the room. Before I could even get out of bed Josh is already up and mid-air in this incredible leap at the figure, like a cheetah I jump up and lung at the person. It all happened so fucking fast, I thought we were being robbed and were seconds away from being killed. He lands squarely on the person knocking it to the floor and as I’m just about to jump the person starts screaming... like a girl... it... IS a girl... too late, I’m mid-flight and my elbow lands with a solid blow to her midsection. More screams. This time even louder. The light comes on and it’s a scantily clad woman, we look to the door and our friend Steve is standing in the doorway with this completely stunned look on his face. We realize what’s going on (she’s a hooker) and Josh and I start laughing our asses off. We’d just tackled, one-punched and flying elbowed a hooker. So she goes off cussing up a storm and threatening to kill us all. She runs out and we’re all laughing our asses off. Then it dawns on us that we really need to get the hell out of that room before she comes back with her pimp and really kills us. So it’s a frantic dash to shove everything we had into our suitcases and bolt down the hallway to the nearest elevator. It’s like 5am and we’re telling the story to the young guy working behind the counter on why we need a new room and he’s hysterical with laughter. We musta told that story to half the staff that night as we’re trying to book another room... Steve was mortified as he had to stand there and keep raising his hand each time someone was like “So who got the fat hooker?”. Hahah. Oh man... I need to go to Vegas.
Didn't mean to hijack your thread... hooker talk just got me going down memory lane.
- that is the best story i've ever heard7point34
- I see no juggling in this story...TheBlueOne
- dude! LOLOLOLOLCALLES
- Great story for the weekJaline
- the funniest part... when i landed my elbow it was this real squishy thud and she let out this deap "UHGHGGGH"kona
- holy shit i'm in tears remembering the impact. hahahahahakona
- EPIC! ;)megE
- way to beat up a girlLlyod
- that wasn't a hooker, that was me.Point5
- The best part of the story is the first sentence. It's like the preface to a great novel, except a great train wreck.
TheFatBaron - i love that story.spendogg
- megE0
kona thats an incredible story lol you win!
- haha. thanks. we still laugh about that everytime vegas comes into the conversation. steve is still mortified.kona
- well it's one thing to be caught drunk with the fat chick, but to actually pay for it... he should be mortified7point34
- big boobies though so that kind of made up for it. she carried it well from what i remember.kona
- wordsinyourmouth0
hilarious!
- key0
I think we all have drunken Vegas hooker stories.
Did you know they get really mad when you decide that it's a good idea to drunkenly explain to them your view of the sordid details regarding their involvement in that particular industry? Both times I did that they went tourettes and left, weird huh.
It might have worked out better if I had realized that they really were hookers and not just dressed as such... I love the casinos for the oxygen, it's true.
- key0
seriously though did he get pictures, I'd love to see them
- MrDinky0
my friends and I had obsessions about midgets.
we hired some so we could throw them. some agreed and some didnt. we bought them to fight one another. my friend had all of his wedding staffed with midget, servers, singers, etc. he is 6'4
couldnt get fat chicks cause the midgets were afraid of them.
we had midgets with big booby stripped, that was fun. strippers were scared of them. midgets treated them like crap. trying to touch them all the time.
me and my friend once just paid some midgets to hang out with us through out the night. clubbing, bars etc
- rson0
I am sick of misleading thread names :(
- roundabout0
Him: b....b... but, we didn't sleep with her or nothing, we just paid her to juggle. yeah, juggle her boobies all over his face.
- spendogg0
Kona - tell the milkshake story again!
- rocknonstop0
There's a girl on QBN besides Jaline?
- stoplying0
I can juggle.
And do the Boulder hookers wear birkenstocks?
- madirish0
"it's behind my office... in the alley"
haha- i think i know what office you are in... : )
- megE0
boulder hookers wear crocs – duh?!
- ninjasavant0
Last time I was in vegas we decided we were gonna call up one of the girls on those cards and have her come over and play clue with us but we couldn't find a store that sold a cheap game of clue so one of my friends just ended up sleeping with her. True story.