Idiocy
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- maximillion_0
the guy who came on here and said "if another account person comes up to me and says thanks for all yr hard work Im gonna punch him in the nuts"
- 7point340
years ago i worked for target. a shit job with shit pay. the only thing that was fun about it was this dude andy i worked with was funny as shit.
one winter the hr team was putting up decorations in the break room and the fat sow that was in charge of all things cheery and cheesy was putting up snowflakes with everyones name on it that worked in the store. well she had left for the day and andy and i were the closing shift and walked in the break room and found this and realized we couldn't find our names. she obviously hadn't finished and had left all the supplies there. so we decided to put our names up. we wrote our names on a couple snowflakes and taped them up... their might have been an inside joke on one of them, i dont really remember, probably 'unit 91' and 'radio' from supertroopers as this is what we called each other over the walkies.
well the next day i had completely forgotten about it. and my supervisor comes up and says something like, 'what did you guys do?' and i was like, 'i dont follow.' he goes on to say that the fat sow (cannot remmber her name so fat sow will suffice) came in and found that we had 'defaced' her decorations and 'mocked' her and she had just decided to say fuck it and started tearing all the snowflakes off the wall. she apparently was pissed. i just sat there. i was completely dumbfounded. then i got pissed i was like all we did was write our fucking names on snowflakes. if anything we helped her by saving her 10 secs. my supervisor started laughing but i could tell he was trying his best to act like a 'boss' and kept telling me well i have to have a talk with you about it, since thats policy, so we've had a talk. i told him i refused to apologize because this was sincerely idiotic. he laughed some more.
i was then approached by nearly every other high up in the company. some were curious to know why the sow was upset, some wanted to know what we did, and others wanted to 'reprimand' me (andy had the day off) for my actions as that is the 'policy.'
eventually the manager heard about it and came up to talk to me. i think my exact response was 'are you kidding?' he had only heard through the grapevine and was trying to find out what i had done that was so offensive. i told him the story. he goes 'THAT's what this is about?' he seemed genuinely pissed that this had gone on this long.
i never did apologize. stupid sow.
- car 'ramrod'bulletfactory
- oh yeah we were told frequently to stop playing on the walkies7point34
- bulletfactory0
some linux servers are case sensitive - such as the one where i work - so it would matter.
i swear out server 'team' sucks balls
- maximillion_0
I was once joind some friends to have a coffee, i ordered an espresso and the waitress said she would bring it over. i went to sit down with my friends who were with some older relatives. I nipped to the loo after saying hello and on my way to the toilet passed the wiatress with my espresso. when i got back the espresso had gone and my friend had a big grin on his face. i asked where my espresso was and was told that my friends old man had sent it back and comlained as he thought i was being ripped off with the size of the drink. i had a standard filter instead
- lol that's kind of cute, like something my mother would do
sseo - yeah it is. i didnt have the heart to tell my friends father about espresso.maximillion_
- lol that's kind of cute, like something my mother would do
- Atkinson0
I gave my email address to the dentsit's pa today - 'no, that's a web address', no it's not, it's my email address, 'no, it has a '@' sign in it - it's a web address', no, really, it's my email address, I've had it a while now. 'Well let me just take your phone number instead'! Silly cow.
- harlequino0
A few years back at the last place I worked, I was sitting in my little purgatory of a cubicle slaving away on something ridiculous. Across from me was the doorway to my immediate boss, one of the company partners. One of the other partners comes over and starts to relate an "outrageous" story.
Apparently over the weekend he had stopped by the IT guy's (a very nice chap from India, and a practicing Hindu) house to drop off or pick something up for the new servers they were installing. On the IT guy's door hung the following symbol:
The sacred Hindu swastika, and symbol of the family's beliefs.
The company partner, a Jew (and clearly not a bright one) was aghast at the 'Nazi symbolism' on the door.
So here he was relating the story, now to all the other company partners, who were also completely horrified, offended, and out for blood. Some of the quotes were:
"You have to tell him to take it down!"
"I'm so sick, after all my people have suffered!"
"Everyone knows history, he should know better!"
"Tell him to take it down, or he's gonna get fired!"So to recap, they were offended and wanted to tell him to remove and ancient symbol of his faith from the door of his own house, or he could lose his job.
Watching it unfold was astonishing.
I don't know if they ever mentioned it to him, but I wanted them to, and wanted to know. Because then I could have slyly mentioned his legal rights to him and that he could easily own the frigging company.
- oh dear.maximillion_
- Wow, that's scarily great. I'd love to know if they ever said anything.Spookytim
- MSL0
Bluechip UK bank for which we are doing a highstreet A5 'investment' brochure...
Me: ...can you send me your corporate guidelines handbook in a digital format?
Client: i'll fax it.
Me: *speechless and receiving a 48 page fax*
- Spookytim0
Interesting question really Kelpie. He and I were both team leaders of different parts of the project and there was quite a bit of competition between us to become the overlord of the project ultimately. One of us was going to end up in charge as the project rolled on, and we both knew this.
Naturally I did confront him about it, but his reaction was in the spirit of me merely trying to score points, as opposed to him actually realising he made himself look bad. It was really beyond his mindset to understand it was all just wrong. He didn't even get the idea that a Downs syndrome face could be used on almost anything... mortgage leaflet, current account welcome pack, loans poster. He could only see it as a suitable image for others less blessed than himself.
- kelpie0
did you confront him about it later?
- maximillion_0
i take it the guy with downs wasnt from mongolia then :D
- Spookytim0
Same Bloke...
We were proposing a brand concept called "Gallery of Life" ... hoary old shoite I know, but it was back in the 90's. It was important that the client understood the gallery of life photographic style wasn't about slick beautiful models shot by professional photographers it was about depicting real people in real situations, warts and all, and the only criteria was that the people in the shots were positive, happy looking people.
We had a giant gallery wall in the presentation room and had covered it in positive looking people from all walks of life to convey the idea to the client.
The presentation was going really well. We were all chipping in and talking about different shots on the wall, why we liked them and how they had relevance to the client (a bank), so Mr Headphones from the story above is really getting into it and points out a picture of a downs syndrome boy sat on a beach laughing. He explains, very eloquently, why he likes the shot... summer, bright, colourful, uplifting, charming smiling face of the boy, and then he seeks to contextualise the image for the client
".. and yeah, this could be a really useful sort of image for... you know... brochures and leaflets aimed at getting mongols and other disabled people to open bank accounts. Becuase they do have bank accounts, so, you know, its important to make them feel special"
Obviosuly not word for word, but that was the essence of what he said and he used the word "mongol" without batting an eyelid.
- Corvo0
I thought PIITB was "punches "it" in the balls", but today I learned it's much less masculine than that. So i pitied it in the brain.
- maximillion_0
ive lost count of the number of times ive been contacted by clients complaining about not having email. i usually start by seeing if they have an intertnet connection by getting them to go to a website. 9/10 they dont, some of them even think they dont need an internet connection for email too <- these are the ones who usually try to dictate what web standards are...like fluid layout sites, drop downs at the bottom of the screen etc.
ameeezin
- Spookytim0
At one job I sat opposite this other bloke and we both used to listen to our own music on headphones. I would occasionally tap out a drum solo on my desk with my fingers, and I would frequently notice that he found this very amusing indeed. He would watch me do it, then chuckle to himself whilst shaking his head.
One day I got really curious about what was so funny after he'd smirked at my brief spell of finger drumming. I took my headphones off and he did the same, and I asked him.
He said he didn't mean any offense but as I was asking he would tell me... he thought it was really funny how appalling my sense of rhythm was. I then had to explain to him, more than once, that I was drumming to the music on MY headphones, not his.
- ian0
Not technical at all (like moths above) but while sitting on the top deck of a bus one day, I was reading a book and listening to music and happened to stumble into a strange conversation with a skanger (dublin version of a chav) on the seat next to me.
skanger: What are you reading?
me: A book
skanger: why? are you in school.
me (looking around to check): no, just reading. for fun.
skanger: jaysus, don't know why. Anyway, can't read on a bus, not a book anyway. Not listening to music. How can you do both at the same time?
me: eh?
skanger: makes me sick even thinking about it.
me: yeah...put my headphones back in but I could still hear him gibbering away. Reminded me of the bill hicks gag, 'what you reading for...'
- Jnr_Madison0
This is a bit off message but my postman just put a used tissue through my door, dirty fucker.
I shouldn't have wanked him off in the hall I suppose.
- chossy0
I was digitising from a harddrive based camera at my work and it was a new type different to the ones we use, so I decided o take in all the footage as the harddrive was full and it had footage that was ten minutes long 30 minutes long and about an hour long, I had plenty of time to do it and there was no rush.
One of the producers came in and said have you got the footage we need in yet?. I said not yet I am taking everything in so I can find out exactly how long things take and how big the files are once they are ingested, so that in future if you ask me how long things take or how big the files are I can give you plenty of information, if I don't do this then I cannot tell you how long things take and how big the files will be.
She replied with they take as long as they take and the files will be as big as they will be, so stop what your doing and just digitise the frootage I want.
I complied, about a week later the same camera came in it was full etc. etc. she asked me to take in all the footage, I began and she called me every ten minutes askin if it was done yet and how big would the files be as she needed them put on a drive and wanted to know how big a drive to buy, I said it will take as long as it takes and the files will be as big as they will be. Sorry I can't answer your question.People have no patience these days, and just dive right in without thinking about the bigger picture.
- moth0
This one isn't technical, or recent. Once while on a train, I was reading a book using an old ticket as a bookmark. This huge souf-london type bounds down the carriage and I can see him spying my ticket. He snatches it out of my book and continues down the carriage - only to return about 20 seconds later to complain that it wasn't valid.
- Drno0
could you please stamp it in seemwhykey
- Spookytim0
"... .co.uk. All in Copperplate Script."