You're the internet wizard...
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- flavorful0
My mom calls me at work pretty consistently with various computer problems, she calls me even more consistently just to talk, haha.
After I am done helping her, and she usually realizes how easy the "fix", was, she laughs and thanks for me being so patient all the time and explaining everything in a non-computer manner.
I'm actually pretty helpful, which goes against my projected persona - which benefits me because the people who ask for help, are people I would actually help I guess.
...
If there is someone I don't want to help, I just tell them straight up I don't know anything about computers, or to just hit ALT+F4 repeatedly until they shut down their computers, and then they never ask me again, haha.
* Another blog post, though to my credit most of my posts are.
- Jaline0
now we know your secrets
- flavorful0
OH NOSE!@
- Nairn0
Yeah, I had that recently, 23kon, for a friend I did a website for*. I sent him over a document template, set a webcam pointing at my PShop screen, two other monitors with full Skype chat and audio - all to teach him how to resize images in layers and export to web. That's it. It took an hour and a half and every 3rd step was interrupted by "Yeah, yeah - I know that", followed very swiftly thereafter by "So it's not working, what do I do now?" ("Did you do X when you said 'yeah, yeah, yeah'?" - "no").
After all my efforts, he had the gall to say "Well I don't understand how you expect me to know all this - isn't there a simpler way?" (Yes. Fuck off the internet.)
I wasn't even getting paid.
NEVER do freebies for Rich people.
(* though it's STILL not fucking online.. nngh)
- joyride0
My parents neighbor recommended some guy for there computer problems, they used him and he was pretty cheap, but he didn't really solve the problem and took forever to get her computer back. He did suggest she reformat the computer, which is what I told her, he would say. She then asks, do you think that is something i can do, i've got the restore disk... um, no, i'll do it next time i'm up there, i really don't want to get that angry walking you through that process
- k0na_an0k0
lol at these stories.
probably my funniest... two years ago a buddy of mine, who knows nothing about computers, bought his first pc. he was so proud. he called me up and asked me to come over and set everything up and install everything for him. he was so excited.
i left on a saturday and he was as giddy as a schoolgirl with his new toy.
monday afternoon i get a call from him.
chris: yo man, uh... my computer is fucked. it won't do anything! it's freezing all over the place and i'm getting screen after screen after screen and i can't close them.
me: really? ok. i'll swing by after work and check it out.
so i'm thinking i must have been something with the install.
nope.
when i get there and check it out his pc had been completely taken over by a virus as he had somehow downloaded and installed every spyware app known to man.
how?
porn sites.
ugh.
so i reinstalled everything from scratch. did a complete wipe of the entire system and had to give the guy this talk.
me: ok, you know when the thing pops up and it says 'you have one new message waiting for you online, when you're already online...'
chris: yeah
me: DON'T CLICK ON IT YOU FUCK!
it was madness.
no... it was sparta.
- Nairn0
EVERY time I fly back to sunny Spain to spend a week of quality time with my Dad, I end up spending a day or so fixing his computer.
He knows I've always been 'into' computers, and thinks I enjoy it - he can't see why my temperature should so rise when 'just' fixing his WiFi or de-slogging his drives or ..like last time, [the bastard].. preparing the touchscreen laptop he'd just bought FROM EBAY (!) - the full shebang - check for faults, install windows, install networking and software.. I mean, wtf? That's literally hours worth of slog.
That time, I couldn't work out something to do with his router and I utterly blew my top - to which he THEN came in and innocently states "Can't work it out, son? I thought you were goo.." &%%%*& OF COURSE I CAN'T WORK IT OUT YOU C*NT - HOW THE FUCK IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE TO SO THOUROUGHLY MISTREAT A COMPUTER?! DID YOU NOT READ THE 5 PAGES OF HANDWRITTEN A4 INSTRUCTIONS I LEFT LAST TIME, COVERING EVERY EVENTUALITY IMAGINABLE? DO YOU EVEN APPRECIATE HOW HARD IT IS FOR SOMEONE OF MY GENERATION TO WRITE BY HAND ANY MORE - AND YOU'VE JUST DUMPED THAT SHIT IN THE FUCKING DRAWER? AM I ADOPTED? PLEASE TELL ME i'M ADOPTED, SO I CAN LEGITIMATELY STRIKE YOU DOWN WHERE YOU STAND!
*Och't - that was a shit read, but a highly cathartic write.
- Jaline0
hahaha, k0na.
- Jaline0
Thank you, Nairn. See, everyone? Nairn had the courage to share his story with us. Now, let's continue around the circle.
- Nairn0
Sorry my point with the EBay thing - my Dad didn't need the machine he'd bought and could, it any case, afford a brand new one. Instead, he opted to buy a cheapo option from EBay, because he knew his son could 'just fix it' - all for a measly coupla hundred pounds saving.
- Nairn0
Pass that paper bag, Jaline?
*breathes deeply and heavily into it
- TheBlueOne0
Haha..great stories. Reminds me a few weeks back a good friend of mine who's an actor by trade and has been doing a professional gig out of town called me up ( I had done hi swebsite for him) and he says "Bri, you know I was thinking. When this gig is over maybe I should learn to do websites like you so I won't have to wait tables between gigs. Can you teach me some stuff..."
I email him back.."Sure thing buddy.."
And I take an hour or so to write up a bare bones introduction to HTML and structure, etc...I mean my friend isn't dumb...and then fire off this lengthy missive to him.
A day later he writes back, "Dude, thanks. But I don't want to learn this HTML stuff, I just want to learn how to make web pages..."
- Jaline0
of course.
*pats Nairn on the back
- Nairn0
Oh - and the root of his problems wasn't the pages of handwritten instruction - no, it was the ignoring of that, then getting a fucking 12 year old to come in and fuck everything up with duplicate virus checkers and random techie IP widgets and such.
"He was cheap.." said he.
- morilla0
uggggg, this problem exists with all of us.
I can't stand it when people refuse to learn technology that will eventually make them obsolete.
- Nairn0
A day later he writes back, "Dude, thanks. But I don't want to learn this HTML stuff, I just want to learn how to make web pages..."
TheBlueOne
(Aug 15 07, 08:57)lol, we're all just idiots for doing it the hard way!
- Jaline0
A day later he writes back, "Dude, thanks. But I don't want to learn this HTML stuff, I just want to learn how to make web pages..."
TheBlueOne
(Aug 15 07, 08:57)hahah, thankfully my dad actually DOES want to learn HTML. I'm just too lazy. I would ask for your writeups, but I need to put in some extra work since my parents aren't good with remembering things.
I figure if I really want to do something for the short-term or just get them used to something smaller, I could try a program like iWeb.
- Point50
k0na, I had a roommate who did the same fucking thing... I gave him an extra pc I had. Within 2 weeks
"Dog, I can't use the internet on my computer"
"What's wrong?"
"I don't know... I log in and the internet comes on by itself. Then, all kinds of windows just start opening; I can't even click on em to close em... it slows everything down."
haha, so I wipe everything, re-install everything and tell him "Stop fucking with all those porn sites". A month later he tells me "Man, this Norton Anti-Virus thing doesn't work... my computer is fucking up again"
"You been going on those shitty porn sites again?"
"No."
:|
Then there's my mom... an absolute nightmare when it comes to working on a computer. I fucking dread that weekly phone call. Ends up being 20 minute phone call; 15 minutes of it being her bitching about how her computer and printer are stupid and 5 worthless minutes of me trying to guide her over the phone navigating thru menus and shit. It always ends with me driving across the city on a Saturday to help her. I get there, diagnose and solve the so-called "problem" in 5 minutes or less and I hear "I TRIED THAT GREG; I DID THAT EXACT SAME THING AND IT DIDN'T WORK FOR ME! I DID JUST WHAT YOU SAID AND IT KEPT GIVING ME SOME ERROR... I GIVE UP!"
This week's problem: the printer keeps printing old documents from the queue and something about "my iPhoto pictures are all distorted"
ugh
- Jaline0
Did she ever have a PC? I wonder which is easier to teach / learn on.
- Nairn0
heh, my Dad was trying to get a software update for his car (now THAT made me feel entirely unGeek) and, to his credit, had got as far as some torrent sites and a download of uTorrent.
Trouble is, he'd then found a site with the software - some deal where you had to pay $1 for membership. He asked me whether it was a good idea - "looks legit" says he, "yeah, maybe, but your payment will be processed by LovelyLilLolitas.com, Dad - you sure you want your wife seeing that?"
Again, all to save a wee bit of cash. I mean, I'm all for a bit of pirating - but NEVER for important software - especially not for something I'd stick in my bloody car!