Girlfriend advise
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- morilla0
drop her now, she sounds like she has issues, and chiks with issues does not make for a pleasant and long relationship.
Sounds like one day you are gonna be one of those X's she invites to a party.
- AndyRoss0
Well, near as I can tell, everybody has issues. So, saying somebody has issues, is like saying they have a small intestine.
Anyway, I think there are several key things everyone must decide, preferaby in advance, about their relationships:
1) What do you want in a mate, and in a relationship? For instance, do you want someone to live with, and go to the movies with, and have all the same friends with? Or would you really prefer someone to see at weekends to party heavily with, with no further involvements or attachments? Do you want permanent, or do you want temporary? Etc. I mean, you really need to decide if you want the whole hog, or if you just want a few strips of bacon. And you should make clear your goals to the other person.
2) What behavior will you absolutely not tolerate from your mate? Do you care if they have sex with others? Are there people they cannot talk to? Are there certain situations they cannot allow to happen with certain other people? What is the code you expect the other person to follow? If you want to feel happy in a relationship, you have to find someone who will live by your code. Not give lip service to your code, but actually live by it.
And it should be your code. Not Hugh Hefner's, or Sting's, or Jerry Falwell's--your code. If that means you want this, and this, and this fetish, but that one is beyond the pale, and they can sleep with anyone they like as long as they're always ready for you, well, if that's your code, that's your code.
You gotta figure out who you are and what the fuck you want before you can expect someone else to know it, and abide by it.
It's like buying a sweater: you gotta know how you want it to fit before you waste everyone's time trying it on.
- oldelpaso0
It's like buying a sweater: you gotta know how you want it to fit before you waste everyone's time trying it on.
AndyRoss
(Apr 29 07, 19:22)mm yes .. yes he's right.. its a bit like..
CROWBAR TO THE FACE!!
i have issues - dont judge me..
- AndyRoss0
See, there's a good example!
In my book, a crowbar to the face would end a relationship. A crowbar to the face is outside my code, and beyond my personal pale.
Keep in mind, I'm not here to judge you. Merely to determine if you would abide by my code. And you don't--crowbar to the face--so we'd never make it.
You should know that to start.
Plus you should know that no one in their right mind would have anything to do with anything--"El Paso"--for fear you'd break out that awful old Marty Robbins tune. Which would merit a crowbar to the fac, and the code's violated. Again.
Face it. It's not meant to be. But for Christ's sake, be a man about it.
- enjine0
Kinda reminds me of The Hills, Season 2
- Chuchito0
Man, stop for one second, take a deep breath, look to the right, look to the left and look at things, look at real things and see reality. Think about you, your job, family and the great things out in the world. If you really care for this girl and want the best for her, break up with her and let her know that you care and that you are giving her the space so she can figure things out. When she leaves, set up a timeline 5 to 7 days to forget about here with the intention of never seeing her again. Stick up for your self and feelings, and don’t ever take crap from no one.
- oldelpaso0
Face it. It's not meant to be. But for Christ's sake, be a man about it.
AndyRoss
(Apr 29 07, 19:49)i cant....
***reaches for crowbar***
:) :) :) :)
- oldelpaso0
In my book, a crowbar to the face would end a relationship
AndyRoss
(Apr 29 07, 19:49)hahahaha
i think in * everyones* book it might just end a relationshipi mean lets face it he or she would be all disfigured n shit
- not really girlfriend/boyfriend material after the crowbar treatment...
:D
- M0NEYCIDE0
I'm all for the laxatives and lsd.
- emokid0
use the force
- emokid0
by force i mean
crowbar to the face!
- Ginja0
Theres lots of different things flying around. Suggestions and thoughts. All very helpful. And I thank you all.
I went straight to bed when I got in last night and left for work again at 5am so will see her properly tonight. Will keep you posted.
Thanks again. G
- flavorful0
Jaline, I think if you met me in real life you’d want to be friends with me too, haha.
Plus you are already prepared and versed for my attention-grabbing antics and assery behaviour ... which is usually the first impression most people either get scared away by, or oddly intrigued.
- OSFA0
good luck.
- kelpie0
reading some of this thread has given me a skin condition.
I have honestly never found a place so quick to dole out reactionary, potentialy terrible, lop-sided, personal-shit-influenced advice to anybody with any vague, subjective situation to pour out.
Christ. Good luck man, sounds to me like you need to look at yourself as much as her, but good luck to you, especially if you listen to 99% of the posts in this thread. Lot of bitter possessive people on this site.
- paraselene0
more please, kelpie.
- canuck0
I get all of my relationship advice from NT.
- Jaline0
I have honestly never found a place so quick to dole out reactionary, potentialy terrible, lop-sided, personal-shit-influe nced advice to anybody with any vague, subjective situation to pour out.
kelpie
(Apr 30 07, 07:19)I agree 100%.
I'm not sure if I'm one of these people you speak of, but I remember mentioning before that no one can really give great advice here because we never seem to get the full story.
- skt0
Kelpie has a point. Might as well write to the sun.
- Jaline0
Not that the "full story" can be known by everyone though...since there are different perspectives and experiences by each and every person.